I am tired of my mom’s ways!

Hey Rosie,

Happy New Year and congratulations on the wonderful job that you have been doing over the years. I am a 21 year old college graduate living at home with my mom and little sister, and of recent, a younger cousin (girl).{{more}}

I am unemployed, but I am using my time wisely doing studies. Being at home everyday, I have continued to take it upon myself to perform all domestic duties in and around the home, …. I do absolutely everything.

My mom just sits around and speaks on the phone for hours on end, while I feel overworked and exploited. Note, I have no problem doing the work, but it’s the fact that nobody appreciates it at all.

She isn’t concerned about anyone else’s needs but hers. She is selfish and has a problem with being true to herself.

She continues to be one of the biggest impressionists that I know. She pretends to her so called friends that all is good at home and that she contributes to my livelihood, when she prefers to financially mind her friends, rather than help pay for my studies. She is only for her followers, not her family. I am totally tired of her ways, and I am ooh so sorry for my sister in the long run. My mind is almost made up on this, Rosie. Second opinion desperately needed.

Hurting Workaholic

Dear Workaholic,

A Happy New Year to you as well and continued success in your studies. Even though I am feeling you about being under appreciated by your Mom for all the work that you do around the house, I have to say I can also see the problem as well.

Believe me, I know you are trying to make your contribution at home, and it’s even harder because you are not working. However, the time has come for you to stand up and forge out on your own. You are going to say to me, “Rosie I’ve tried and I can’t find any jobs!” But I say this to you: Maintain your respect for your mother (even though it appears to you she’s not in your corner at this time). Also, I would advise you that in order to have your peace of mind and independence, you may have to settle for a job right now, instead of the right job.

We all have to crawl before we walk…much more run. So this is what your plan should be: ignore your mother’s comments to her friends, ignore her lack of financial contribution (because she doesn’t have to), ignore the lack of gratitude for all that you are doing around the house. Become very motivated and focused like a laser beam in finding employment, be it with a temp agency, working in a department store or even at a fast food restaurant. Look at different listings, maybe even being an assistant to someone. Then start actively saving 20-25% of your salary. It may seem a little aggressive, but you need to move out and be on your own.

Also, remember your younger sister is looking at you and you MUST maintain an A+ example to follow. At the end of the day, you are no longer a child, but a young adult. Embrace your new spot in life and execute it accordingly. By the way, I think your Mom loves you and admires you. She may just have a difficult way of showing it.

Good Luck!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.