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My ex says ‘if he can’t have me no one will ever’


Hey Rosie,

I am 16 years old. I have been in a relationship with boy for a year now. We were happy, and I was so in love with him. We went on a vacation. I came back home to finish school and he stayed. We promised to make things work and be faithful to each other.{{more}}

But Rosie, as soon as I returned he changed. He started to accuse me of being with Tom, Dick and Harry. However, he has a baby mother who always sends messages to me telling me to leave him and he would never leave her for me.

She would constantly post stuff on his Facebook profile, and while I was with him, he still had up pictures of both of them in his Facebook profile. I paid that no mind. He told me that she knew his password and changed it and he had no access to it. I was made to believe that she was some obsessive freak. I did a little detective work and found out that they were still together, so along with them still being together and the accusations, I decided to leave him.

Now it’s like we are the wost enemies. He tells people stuff like I was his play toy, and that I threw away his baby … a lot of personal stuff. Rosie, I was shocked by these outbursts from this boy. He has caused a lot of drama in my life and made my friends turn against me and my mother. I got a lot of haters and he spoilt my good name.

Rosie, this boy and his baby mom are doing everything in their power to destroy me. He is also threatening me if I ever interfere with him or his baby’s mom he will kill me. Rosie, I want to know what do I do to move on from here. I tried to start dating again, and he would threaten my dates. He says if he can’t have me, no one will ever will. Rosie, what do i do? Did this boy even love me?

Hurt and Confused

Dear Hurt and Confused,

Right out the door, there is a line here that troubles me no end, and that was: “If he can’t have me, no one will ever will”.

Listen to me, that is a very DANGEROUS threat. I am speaking based on the experience of a young lady (about your age) who I went to High School with years ago, who lost her life at the hands of an obsessed man who said the same thing.

You and your mother need to seek legal help in order to make sure that you remain safe. This young man is not to be trusted at this point and his acts of aggression (even though verbal) need to be documented. He seems dangerous and unstable. This would be my immediate advice to you.

Now, at 16, you unfortunately have experience the ugly side of a bad break up. At this age, you really shouldn’t be going through this type of drama. You should be hanging out with your girls. Casually talking to boys. Planning what college you may want to attend. You should be just embracing life and the great things it has to offer a teenager.

However, you fell into the grown up relationship gig that many young girls seem to run into. Why I ask? There is no need for it. Choose your company with extreme care. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. I can see that you have had this revelation, and hopefully it is a lesson learnt. Please enjoy your single life and embrace your future. In a few years, this ex-boyfriend will be nothing but a horrible memory/experience. He isn’t a good person, and at this stage, I’m not addressing his awful behavior any further. My concern again is the safety of you and your family. Don’t take any sort of threats about you lightly. Then just keep your head high and move on. One step at a time. This, too, shall pass. Be safe my friend.


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.