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Trapped in the doubled sided closet of love and lust

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Dear Rosie,

I’m a 19-year-old female who is trapped in numerous relationships…. I think its hard to let go of them, but there is one guy that I am seriously in love with, though he is nine years older than I am.

I love him so much it’s not even funny. I cheated on him because of revenge; he had cheated on me and got a girl pregnant…. And ever since that I have been having problems with his baby’s mother.He has three kids. I met him with two.{{more}}

I must say that we have been together for six years, and I think I’m trapped. Well, I’m living in the US and girls have been hitting me up on Facebook and talking smack about me, but he claims he is not with them, he loves me.

I’m not gonna be insecure. He has freedom and stuff like that. I’m not gonna put a gun to his head and tell him to stay with me, because he is a grown man and should be able to take full control of himself and make his own decisions based on what he wants for him and his three kids….

On the other hand, I have gotten myself involved with a married man who has two kids. He tries to make me happy sexually, and is spoiling me with gifts. I think he does this because he thinks I will tell his wife cuz I got her number, his Facebook password and their address…..

He even gives me his credit card to go shopping and stuff. Mind you, he and his little family are from St.Vincent as well…. I have developed something for him, but I don’t wanna lose my boyfriend cuz he is my best friend, companion and lover….

He means the world to me, but, Rosie, I swear this married man is what I always wanted a guy to do: spoil me as if I am a toddler in a candy store….

Signed

Love and Lust

Dear Love and Lust,

Now, really, where do we start? Let’s start with the last guy first, shall we? You are with a married man who has two children, buys you gifts, etc., and is afraid that you will blackmail him by telling his wife about your affair? Please leave this man and his family alone. He’s afraid of you because of the control he gave to you and he knows that you can use it against him one day. He’s wrong for cheating on his wife. However, you are equally as wrong to go along for the ride! One day you WILL reap what you sow, and it will not be pleasant.

Let me ask you this, why are you already the “other woman” and a “home wrecker” in these relationships? You are only 19 and have been at this for the last six years? Totally unacceptable! I am upset with you because in the letter you come across as very clear thinking, manipulative, and your intelligence is very evident. So, I ask, why this behavior? This 28-year-old man has already told /showed you what he’s going to do to you and his life by his actions alone. He’s not going to change. If you want to be the side chick, then that’s your call, a poor choice, but that’s on you. Why would you want this type of drama?

If I’m coming at you in a hard way, I will not apologize for it. You know why? It isn’t too late for you to turn your life around. Do a 180, stop the Loving and Lusting. Start planning and focusing on your success in the future. College, a career, having your own family one day, and giving back to your community. Definitely not being the other woman, I would like you to know that you are THAT woman who is fulfilling her life’s purpose in making a positive change. Stop this behavior. It is not acceptable, and I wish you clarity so that you may see the right path ahead of you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.

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