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How do I talk my friend out of having sex?

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Hey Rosie,

I am a teenage girl and I have a friend that I am worried about. My friend is very dear to me and I only want the best for her. She seems to be going on the wrong path, as in for her choice to have sex with her current boyfriend. I try and try to talk her out of it, but she seems to not want to listen to me.{{more}} She says it would make them closer, but I told her that that is just what he would want her to think. Every time I try to talk her out of it, she keeps saying no matter what I say, she is going to do it. I keep telling her that now would not be a good time for her to start experimenting with her boyfriend. Please tell me something that could possibly help the situation.


Dear Worried,

Wow, either you are this young lady’s mother in disguise or you are just an “old soul”. You sound a lot more mature than most girls your age. So your friend is having sex with her boyfriend and doesn’t give two shakes what you have to say? I also see that you, at this stage in your life, are trying to be the role model to tell her that she should wait.

First of all, I must commend you for caring that much and going out of your way to save your friend from her very dangerous actions. We know that she can get pregnant, contract a sexually transmitted disease, or even worse AIDS. She, however, is only looking at the now, not the later and if she can’t get that through her very thick skull, what is a friend to do?

Well, the friend can only do so much. Especially at your age, if you want to tell teacher or an older sibling/family member of your friend, I wouldn’t blame you. I know people would consider that snitching, but that’s something you would have to wrestle with. However, it is only so much that you can do. If you know in your heart that you’ve done all that you can do…let her be. I’m sure you’ve heard about leading a horse to water, but not being able to make the foolish horse drink. This unfortunately seems to be the case.

Keep on being her friend, but you will have to block that part of her life for now. Also continue to be the focused and level-headed young lady you appear to be. This will hold you in good stead in the future.


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.