“Rosie, I am going nuts. What should I do”?

Hey Rosie,

Before I get into my story, I must say that your weekly articles are very uplifting and to the point.

Rosie, I have been seeing my girl friend for three years, I don’t talk much, and I do not ask many questions if any at all. I was raised in a family where one can only speak when spoken to, so I find it very difficult to express myself. My girlfriend knew this because I’ve explained it to her over and over again.{{more}}

Because of who I am, which I just outlined to you, she took it upon herself to break into my email account. After she did it, she kept asking me questions that only the people I send those emails to will know. I find her questions to be very interesting, so every time she asks me any questions relating to my emails, I will say to her that she already knows everything, so why bother to ask me. The things she will be saying I know for a fact they are from my emails. All the emails I sent out were saved in my sent folder, so she was able to read emails that were sent out even before I met her. She questions me about emails sent to my family, friends and ex girls.

Rosie, this woman knows everything there is to know about me through my emails. I am so upset that I asked her to leave, and told her that it was over between us, I will not be able to go forward with this relationship and I will not even attempt to work things out, so why bother when there will never be any trust between us. Everything I felt for her in the past is no longer there; all I have towards her is anger. The funny thing is I am the only one working and I provide her with everything she needs and wants. It’s my house; my mother bought it for me. Winter is coming, and I want her gone, but she has no place to go. Rosie, I am going nuts. What should I do?

Done

Dear Done,

I am very much on board with you, because this relationship seems to be pretty much over. You were very clear in terms of how you were raised and how it has come to shape you as an adult. I also can embrace that you were very forthcoming about how you expressed yourself (or lack of for that matter). So, like you, I am not appreciating her snooping around and grilling you as if you were a suspect in your daily life.

Snooping is a big indicator that something isn’t right in the relationship. Going through voice mail, email, stalking people on their Facebook etc is really out of control. Think about it, if someone wants to cheat, there is NOTHING that you can do to stop them, NOTHING. If the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldn’t be appreciating someone doing the same thing to you. Many times we are so paranoid that it can drive a person who was completely loyal to be turned off completely. That is what has happened here to you my friend.

So what to do? She has to go, you want her to go. But she’s not working and you feel guilty? Well, let’s set up a time frame for our ex-love, shall we? Have a sit down with your ex, and you will have to lay it out for her, tell her you want out. Explain how she contributed to the eviction in this relationship, and she has to make plans for moving out of the house and your life for that matter. Give her a timeframe, a few weeks or a couple of months? This will have to be up to you, of course. Side note, a little advice for you in terms of any other new relationships coming up: start working on opening up a little more. You cannot be as closed as you are and be successful moving forward in any relationship. Take some time to reach out of your comfort zone so you can become more of an emotionally involved partner. Wishing you much success moving forward.

Rosie-

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.