17 year old wants mom out of her ‘business’

Hey Rosie,

I am 17 years old and I live with my mom. I really have one problem with her. Everytime I go out with my friends, she asks where I am going and who I am going with. But she doesn’t know I have a boyfriend, because if she knew, she will react in a bad way, so I never tell her nothing.{{more}}

She likes to say school comes before boys, but I really love to have fun and be around my boyfriend, too, but my mom is always in the way. Anytime mom and I go out and a guy says hi to me, she always asks who is that? Where is he from? etc. She really needs to stop asking all of those questions before I leave her house. I would hate to do that because I love my mom so much.

Rosie, I think she wants all the men for herself !!

Teenager

My dear young friend,

So you are 17 and you feel “smothered” by your Mom? You feel as though she is too much in your buisness? To add insult to injury you have to sneak around to see your boyfriend? But the part of this letter that you aren’t fully admitting to is the role YOU are playing in this whole dynamic.

If you want to be given the freedoms of a young adult, you have to act the part. Do you think you are the only 17-year-old who has to answer to his or her parents? Do you think your mother is the only mother out there who will question you like you are at the police station about all of your friends…especially male friends? Girl, please, welcome to the Mother /Daughter club.

I used to roll my eyes when my mother would give me the 10th degree about anyone I was grinning my teeth with. I couldn’t even breathe too hard because she had so many people reporting to her, it wasn’t funny. Then one day, when I was about 15 or 16 years old, I decided that I would give names, blood type, family info and if I liked them or not. Surprisingly, the tables started to turn after that. Why? Simply put, I was being straight with her.

Don’t get it too twisted. She would voice her opinion about what she thought…many times she was right. Now I have an 18-year-old, and she is maybe a little too open with all that she wants to tell me, but I encourage her. Give your mother the respect of sitting down and letting her into your life. She may not say everything you will want to hear. But it will be what you will need to hear. Be open. This is the first step into adulthood. Oh, yes, Miss Lady, your mother doesn’t need a man for herself. She would like to have a daughter who is safe, mature and level-headed, so never disrespect your mother like that again, that part wasn’t cool. If you love your mom, start opening the doors of communication.

Be good.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152,

Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.