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Did I overreact about the missing condoms?

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Hey Rosie,

I’m a 29-year-old, young woman living in New York. About a year ago, I met a 32-year-old intelligent, handsome young man, and we kind of hit it off right away. Shortly thereafter we started dating.

Everything seemed to be going great. After about seven months of dating, one day he called me at work and asked if we could meet up at a certain spot later on in the day because we had to talk. I said sure. Well, we had a very long conversation. He told me that he loved me, he liked who I am and what I’m about and then asked if I would be his “girlfriend.” I was so inclined and then we decided to make the relationship exclusive.{{more}}

So what’s the problem ?

I work in the medical profession and I always have condoms that I give to my family members and close friends, so about 3 months ago, my boyfriend came over to spend the night and I happened to have a 12-pack of condom at home. We used two of them.

The following morning we got up and went to work. Later on that evening, when I got home from work, I happened to notice that there were only 4 condoms in the box. I searched my entire bedroom upside down because I really couldn’t believe he had taken the other 6.

Finally I got him on the phone and he admitted that he had taken them and that he did so because he had never seen that brand before. He also said that he keeps a collection of condoms in his refrigerator and that he took those to add to the collection, and that he didn’t think I would mind since I’m always giving them away. He further went on to say that he thinks I’m over reacting. I told him that I thought he was lying, and I ended the relationship right then and there.

He keeps calling and texting, trying to get me to forgive him, so a few days ago I told some of my coworkers what had happened and to my total shock and surprise, a few of them actually agreed with him and said that yea, I over-reacted. 2 of them said they didn’t think it was a big deal. Wowww !!!!!!!!!!

Rosie, I read your articles every week and I think that you give good advice, so would you please tell me what you think about all this ?

Thank you very much.

Curious.

Dear Curious,

I am so with you at this moment you have no idea! Let me tell you, I AGREE with you! Ok, so I will stop yelling now and explain why I am co-signing on this situation. I always say that people should listen to their “inner voice”, and you did just that.

Never go with others who are telling you what you should have done. Sometimes their standards and view points may be very cloudy to begin with.

Only you and you alone can tell if this was acceptable to you. So, he is a collector of birth control huh? Please! If he took the condoms, he should have just confessed and apologized. He would have stood a better chance than using the line about being a “collector”! I think that is where he really lost you. He forgot that you are an independent and intelligent young woman.

I am not saying that if you want to give him another chance not to, but make it clear you weren’t born yesterday and game playing is not your thing. Did I answer your question? (smile).

Continue to lead, not follow.

Rosie

n Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.

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