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Girl 16, and playing games with two men


Hey Rosie,

I am sixteen years old and live overseas now. When I was living back home, I dated this guy because he can drive, except for that, I don’t want him. We used to hang a lot and spend time together while I was dating him.

I used to date his cousin, too, but I really love his cousin more than him.{{more}} When I was leaving to go overseas, I didn’t tell him because I don’t like him because he chats too much for a man. He used to see me and his cousin hanging out and started to say “If he don’t have me no one else is gonna have me,” but I put it to him straight that I never loved him, I just wanted to use him.

Since I was down there, he said I am pregnant for him, but that was a lie. He never took my virginity, and I will never give a guy sex unless I am devoted to him. He just wanted to use those things to get back at me, but I don’t care.

His cousin, who I was dating, is just hot, although he has his girlfriend, but we used to have our relationship still. Since I am overseas, he calls me and we will talk for hours. I really love him, but I can’t really prove it to him because he has his girlfriend and I have my boyfriend up here with me. I am happy, but I really wanna go back home just to meet him. He is my love. Rosie, I really need your advice.

Young Friend

Dear Young Friend,

First off, all I could say after reading your letter was “Wow!” What surprises me the most is that you are very calculating for a 16-year-old, which then leads me to wonder if this is not an older person writing me. But I will attempt to answer you as if you were truly 16.

I mentioned calculating just a moment ago, and this isn’t a good thing. You are 16, 16 and you already posses some dangerous game-playing skills that will come back to burn you. You are using one cousin because he can drive, and for no other reason. Never mind if you hurt his feelings, you are getting what you want from him. Then, on the other hand, you were seeing his cousin, the one you really are into, but he also has a girlfriend. So that’s another show of disregard for another person’s feelings. Do you see a pattern here?

Then to sprinkle in some more added confusion; cousin number one became jealous and made threats about you not being with anyone else? Look, this is not a joke! I unfortunately went to school with a young lady who lost her life innocently at the hands of a creep who used that phrase. She did nothing to deserve her untimely death. These games you are playing are so dangerous you have no idea! Chick, yes I called you that, check yourself! Stop all these games now! One day you will be playing with the wrong person who WILL overpower you and then there is no coming back from there! Women, we need to understand this: The way we conduct ourselves in public and behind closed doors speaks volumes to many around us.

Pursue your education and opportunities wherever you are. You are so not ready for any “show and tell” about loving another person, so fall back for a while and get your head straight. If you know this isn’t something you wouldn’t want for yourself, please do not serve it up for someone else. I know in my heart that you ARE an extremely bright person. Look inwardly, cleanse what isn’t good and step out with a new positive attitude on life. Oh yes, leave the boys alone for a while…all of them!


Send questions to Rosie at: [email protected] or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.