My man is a cheat!

Dear Rosie,

MY MAN is a cheat and that is a fact. We have been married for six years and he has been doing this since before we are married, but I was in love with him. I hate him now, Rosie. His women call me, harrass me and even come to my job to point and laugh at me.{{more}}

The last straw for me is that I found out that this woman from his mother’s village has three children, Rosie! The last one was born in January this year. On top of everything, we have no children and he has had no job for the last two years. I hate him and want to leave, but my sisters say it would look bad. I want to throw his things out, change my locks and keep going. Am I wrong, Rosie?

Tired

Dear Tired,

I am so sorry to hear about your current situation. So you want to leave your cheating husband, but your sisters think that it would look bad? So now you are feeling guilty about your next move? I am here to tell you not to.

The one thing that I am very proud of you for is your honesty regarding your situation. You made a very poor choice in marrying this man and you were aware of his ways before you married him. However, I think, like most women, you thought he would change, but he didn’t.

You stuck it out for six years, continued to support him and your household, yet he went outside of the marriage to sow his wild oats and produced three children! This man is a piece of work and, unfortunately, you were his enabler. But all good things must come to an end, and he has pushed you to your limit!

Don’t feel bad. No one, and I do mean no one, should be made to feel this way. I am so encouraged that you realized your own self-worth and decided on your own that you want to leave. Forget about how it looks to outsiders. Are they living your nightmare? No! Who needs to share their man with other women? Who needs to be harassed by other women? Who needs to be with someone who isn’t pulling his own financial weight, or at least making some sort of effort to contribute to his household? The answer: No one does!

Be at peace with your decision and also be thankful that you didn’t have any children with this man. Let him go. Normally, I would be encouraging and say work it out, but I don’t think your husband would want to change and will only continue to hurt you.

Your life is still ahead of you. Do not be discouraged. You have life experience now (one that you should share and help guide other young women in similar situations). One day a new person will come into your life. My only tip is release the bitterness and hurt of this experience and be open to all the good things that lie ahead for you. Continue to be strong and focused.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.