My friend’s husband is living a double life

Hey Rosie,

I have a problem, and I need your advice. Rosie, nothing gets me more vexed than to see a married man purposely cheating on his wife and acting as if nothing is going on. I know of a well known man who is cheating on his wife who is my friend, and he has the heart to talk about other people and what they do and how they do it.{{more}} A lot of people share their experiences with him, not knowing that he is no better. And he judges some of the people. He is having affairs with multiple people, including one of his co-workers. I wish I could say something but I don’t know where to start. I am very upset but I am remaining calm. What should I do?

Too Cool

Dear Too Cool,

Well, at least I do not have to launch into one of my tirades about right and wrong with you. Your moral compass seems to be working and you know that this behavior is totally unacceptable. Thank goodness. However, I can hear the annoyance in your letter due this man’s double life. That is ticking me off as well.

My question is, does his wife, your friend, know that he’s a cheat…therefore a hypocrite? I feel for her first, if she is unaware. That would be something you would have to wrestle with in terms of letting her know. Again that is totally up to you.

Now regarding the fact that he gives advice to many, but he does the same thing (thin ice for me), this is a big problem. For the record I am not cheating, lying or stealing etc. But one must be careful about the finger pointing thing. According to you he is living a lie. A lie that only he can resolve. At the end of the day, no matter how much of a juggler he may be, he has to look at himself in the mirror. The image must not be very pretty.

Before long what he is doing in the dark will come to the light. Believe me, without your help at that. That is just one of the laws of this world. Somehow I feel he may be secretly dealing with issues of self-loathing and an inferiority complex, but I am no psychologist. It’s just a hunch.

Be there for your friend, pray for her hubby that he may seek redemption and finally good for you in terms of right and wrong. Continue to a strong and perceptive woman.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.