Did I mention too old?

Hey Rosie

I am a 16-year-old girl dating a 21-year-old guy. Yes, I know he is a little too old and I am too young, but I love him. I am writing you this letter because I need your help. I have been in this relationship secretly and it’s killing me. My mom thinks I’m too young to have a boyfriend but she does not know how I feel about this boy. I have been planning to tell her but don’t know how to because I’m afraid she will stop talking to me.{{more}} Rosie, can you please tell me a way to break the news to my mother without her being mad at me. I need your help.

NEED YOUR ADVICE PLEASE!

Dear Need Your Advice,

I am so happy to hear that you answered a MAJOR part of this problem…he is too old. Lord, he is too old! Did I mention too old? Just in case we were at a sticking point there. Look, I am feeling you about the telling your Mom deal. My daughter is 17 and I would like to know what Casanova has her interest, no matter how old! Let me also put your mind at ease here, your Mom will be mad, she may yell, she may want to punish you, but that doesn’t stop her from loving you. Believe that. It’s an oath we take when we have you little people. That is an unconditional emotion we have for you.

Back to this “Old Man”. Yes, I know I am being not nice right now, but I am going to have to drive this home to you. He is an adult and you are still a minor. The gap at this point is way too large for anything to come from this relationship. He really should be dating women (yes, women) his age. He should allow you the opportunity to blossom at your own pace, with friends your own age. He shouldn’t be encouraging you to continue this relationship because he knows this can be a major problem for him socially.

I am sure he is nice. I am sure that he supports you in everything that you want to do. Of course, he will because he wants to keep this secretive relationship going. However, it will not work out in the long run. I am pretty sure you have your major exams, decisions about College or maybe some other educational goals coming up soon. You will travel one day and see more of this world. Then your eyes will truly be opened to how much you are limiting yourself at the moment. Also, what and who is hot this year in your world will truly not be by next year. You are evolving everyday.

So the bottom line is this: please gather your strength and courage to end this relationship. It isn’t a healthy one. I also pray that you aren’t having sex with him either, because you will now open yourself to a series of other issues, such as diseases, an unwanted pregnancy or even HIV/AIDS.

With regard to your Mom, you should tell her what is happening in your life, even though you are scared. Get another adult or older sibling that you get along with to help you approach her. She needs to know what is going on with you. This is a big deal and I feel as though you need a “Big Sister”/ “Sister Friend” to help you through this hurdle that you are going through.

I know the emotions you are feeling are real, so I will not disrespect that and I hear you. However, the timing is off and this is not the right move for you at this point in your life. He is simply too old for you. All that I have said to you today is what I would tell my daughter as well and I am telling you this with a lot of love and concern. Many Blessings to you and good luck with your next move.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.