Run for your life!

Dear Rosie

I’ve read all your articles in the newspaper and every one of them is very cool. I’m an 18-year-old girl who is with a 20-year-old boy that I love so much. Rosie, I don’t know what to do that’s why I’m asking for your help right away. Sometimes I’ve been accused for nothing and everyone is on me. I even get blamed for every single thing. I can’t go on at all and live my life like he does. When I tell him not to go certain places, he ends up going anyway and when shout comes, I can’t go. It’s like he’s got a hold on me.{{more}} He even stole my pride and dignity and guess what? He’s denying it, and then he’s saying that if he’s stupid that wouldn’t he know what he did that day.

Our relationship is dysfunctional and I do not know where we stand with this thing called love. We were both happy couples when I moved down with my family permanently, but now, it’s like the happiness is not there at all. One second Rosie it’s love, then it’s a battlefield and the worst part of the relationship is that he beats me! Why? Because of all the rumors he is hearing from people and they are not true. He doesn’t even trust me, not even 10% of trust I gain from him and he gains all of my trust. I love this guy so bad I want to be with him forever. Please help me, I’m looking for your advice.

Where we stand with love

Dear Where we stand with love,

Girl, what are you saying to me? If you normally read my advice you know where I’m going with this. Run, run for your dear YOUNG life, please! You are only 18 years old and you are in an abusive relationship!

What? He doesn’t trust you? Who cares? I know this is coming off really strong, but I want to grab your attention here. These are your own words: “Our relationship is dysfunctional and I do not know where we stand with this thing called love”. You said it all. It is very dysfunctional, and toxic I might add. At 18, I’m hoping you have a game plan to continue your education and see what great things this world has to offer. Not settle to be the door mat in some man’s life – a man from your description who doesn’t seem to respect you, much less even love or like you. Love doesn’t hurt physically or emotionally.

Also, why is this fool hitting you? Do you have brothers or male cousins you can introduce him to? Look, the very next time he touches you, tell someone in your family or circle immediately! Then I would also tell the Police. No one, no one must ever lay hands on you, and vice-versa as well. This is really upsetting me because you really need someone in your immediate circle to mentor and guide you. This is not the making of any normal or healthy relationship. There is nothing to salvage. Nothing.

My girl, first things first. Look at yourself long and hard in the mirror and acknowledge that God makes no mistakes. So, therefore, in his eyes you are perfect. Then secondly tell yourself that you deserve and you will get better than this person. Then finally realize that you MUST love yourself first before you can expect someone to love you. Just like breathing, you have to do it for yourself. No one else can do it for you.

Did I mention R-U-N? Put on your jogging shoes and find a new path in which you can escape. Remember you are too young, too full of promise and most of all a child of God to be settling. Wish your man adieu and hello to the new you. May you see and find the strength from within. We all have it if we walk in faith. Much, much love and a hug from me, because you can succeed. I have faith in you.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.