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Dangerously in love with him

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Hey Rosie ,

I am deadly in love with this man. He used to treat me like a PRINCESS. When we just met, he would say things that he would do for me, and he would, but I was already in love him from the very day I first saw him.

At the time, he was still going to school. I would do things for him to show him that there is no one else out there who will love him the way I can because I am unique.{{more}} When my parents found out that we were together, they did every thing in the book just to break us up. Nothing worked, nothing. When I got pregnant for him, I had a miscarriage. After the miscarriage, we were so… ummm, words just can’t explain. Most of my family members told me that if I love my family, I would leave him alone. Rosie, do you know just because I did not, they turned their backs on me. I told him any time he leaves me for anyone else, I will personally kill him because I really do love him. All of this happened last year.

I then started hearing his name being called with other girls from his area and others places. When I asked about them, he would say it is not true, but I find it really hard to believe him because he lied to me before. Rosie, I am so fed up, I turned off my cell phone. I haven’t been seeing him and all of that is good because I don’t want to see him either. If I ask him to come and look for me, he says he can’t because he has things to do. He doesn’t have one Jesus thing to do. He doesn’t have any children to mind or a house of his own to say he has to work to pay the bills. I am in need of advice.

CJH

Dear CJH,

You have had a very traumatic year with many, many upheavals. Sometimes we hear our family or older folks say: “Out of evil cometh good”. You, my dear, had one of these experiences.

Let me go through them with you: You met a guy you fell “deadly in love with” – that’s never a good thing! You cannot become so wrapped up with the feelings of love that it overtakes your very being. Then you are no longer your own person.

Then you would do anything to prove that you were the only woman for him (by the way were you also in school or are you older than this young man?). Again, why are you doing this? When you meet someone, yes, it’s great, but we don’t start doing everything for the person. They will come to expect it and sometimes take it and you for granted.

Your parents then found out and weren’t happy (Ok, so I answered my own question. You are still as young as he). Maybe they were seeing what you were putting yourself through in order to impress your boyfriend, and they were not pleased (One thing, though, for parents…the harder you push, the more they run to the fire. Always try another approach).

Then you said that you would kill him! That gets me crazy! Why would you say that? Even think it? Hear me clearly. Thinking about murder is NEVER the answer! This situation is as painful as it can be. Yes, I do know about the miscarriage, along with your family being mad with you. All these things must never bring you to the point of taking your life or another person’s life.

Finally, your “prince” is cheating and ignoring you. It isn’t right, but this tends to happen when you are this young and immature. So I come back to the old adage, “Out of evil cometh good” or “What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”. Take all of these experiences; look back at how lucky you are to be here. You are bright, I am sure good looking, should continue your education and most of all help other girls around you who may be going through the same thing. You see, you are much wiser than a year ago, so get up, dust yourself off and realize that you survived all this hurt. You are much wiser and smarter for it. Keep moving forward and believing in YOU.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.

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