I hate my ex husband

Hi Rosie

I am a young woman in my late twenties. I live abroad, but I am from the Caribbean. I have been married for two years, with two kids: two years and eight months old.

My husband was asked to leave the country because of immigration issues, which was OK for us. I, however, remained here and got through and was hoping to get him to come back.{{more}}

However, one day he called me and said: “You know I love you,” and I said “Yes”. Then he told me he wants to end the marriage. I was pregnant at the time. It was very hard for me. I never knew it was because he got in with another woman who claims to be a christian, but is a dirty tart. When I found out who she was, I even tried talking to her and she said they were not together, while she was already sleeping with him. Rosie, I am divorcing him and will file custody for my kids. I will hate him for the rest of my life and I know they will meet it, and God will help me. I need some advice. I am so angry.

Angry

Dear Angry,

Of course, you are angry! You were double crossed by the man you loved! I do feel for you and it is going to take you some time to heal. Move on and maybe even love again. However, I am here to tell you that you WILL heal, move on and most of all flourish.

Your soon-to-be-ex messed up! Make sure that your decision to leave him is with a clear head. I am not saying to turn a blind eye to what he has done, but make sure it is with a level head that you are ending this marriage.

It is also not easy being a newly single mother with two young ones under the age of three. However, I am here to tell you that you can do it. Come up with a plan for yourself. Maybe going back to school and finding childcare for your children while doing so (there are many services available to you in the US). Decide what steps you are going to have to take to heal yourself…such as counseling, self help books, talking to a trusted friend, pastor etc. Then give yourself short-term goals to get through the pain and hurt that you are experiencing. This will not happen overnight. But it will get easier as time goes by.

Do not get caught up with the woman he has cheated with – Christian or not. Who she is is totally irrelevant. She has to answer to her God. You need to preserve your energies for raising your children to be smart, respectful and productive human beings. Getting caught up in the “drama” of the “other woman” is so not worth it!

Be smart, if you have faith, hold unto that as well. It is not going to be easy. However you can overcome this setback. Hey, he might have done you a favor. Who knows? Sometimes these things reveal themselves later on. Look up, not down. You did nothing wrong. Keep the faith.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.