My best friend’s man is making moves on me

Hey Rosie,

This is just a quick question. My best friend’s man is trying to get with me behind my friend’s back. I already know this is wrong, in fact I am truly disgusted! My problem is how do I tell her? We have been girls since elementary school and we are now in our mid 20’s, so this is a lifetime for me. I don’t think he is good for her, but I am afraid that she may think I’m lying or even worse trying to get with him.{{more}} Rosie he would call me when she is at the gym, or working late etc. I have told him to get lost, but it seems to make him more interested. Help! I need this to stop now!

Desperate.

Dear Desperate,

Girl, I feel for you. This piece of work is a creep! Good for you! Good for you that you know the difference between loyalty and “creeping”. Your loyalties obviously lie with your friend. This is very apparent because you are seeking advice with regard to how you should tell her.

I am going to go to another extreme this time. We live in the age of technology. For example if he keeps calling you on your cell phone or even your home phone and you can tape this, I would do that. Why? It’s your evidence that you were not encouraging his advances. I know it may seem “undercover”, but sometimes you need to fight fire with fire!

Secondly, this is going to be painful, but you will have to bite the bullet and tell your friend. She will be hurt, she may lash out, she may go silent. The bottom line is she will be shocked by your revelation, however, she must be told. If she starts doubting you, that is when your little “undercover” work would come in handy. He should be revealed for the two-timer that he is. I suspect that you and your friend’s lifelong bond would survive this “bump” in the road.

Remember, we are friends for a reason; to look out for each other, to be honest with each other and to hold each others’ hands through difficult times. Good luck, let me know how it turns out.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.