I am seventeen and pregnant

Hey Rosie,

I am in love with this guy and we were going together for over a year. I finally gave in and had sex with him about 4 months ago and I thought everything would be perfect, but I just found out that I am pregnant and he stopped speaking to me. I am 17 years old and in college, I don’t know what to do. He said that he loved me and that we would be together forever.{{more}} Obviously it is a lie because I saw him (he didn’t see me) driving with another girl from our school one evening. I was so hurt! What am I to do Rosie? I want to kill him. I can’t tell my parents because they will kill me! I feel so hurt and betrayed. He doesn’t even reply to my texts or answer his cell. I know what I am going to do about the baby, I have no choice. Should I confront him or just let it all go? Help me, please!

Alone and hurt.

Dear Alone and Hurt,

This is deep! You have many things going on right now, but let me deal with the most pressing issue first. You are seventeen and pregnant. When you say that you have no choice, this seems to be a very rash decision. I am begging you to find an adult, someone you can speak to and confide in (forgive me for saying this, but an adult with common sense). No matter the life changing choices you will make after speaking with them, you would have had a voice of reason to help you make a sound decision. Also, I would be remiss in saying that you should attempt to talk to your parents as well…I know, I know, they will kill you. But there are some things that we as parents should be told…this is one of them.

I pray that God guides you in the right direction. As I mentioned, I feel for you and this is very much a life altering decision. You should not go through this alone.

OK, now to your “boyfriend”. He is a boy. This is evident because of his reaction. Not much of a friend, because he has abandoned you in your time of need. It is hard to have given your heart to someone who seems to have thrown your heart away in return. Believe me, I do understand how hurtful this can be. But this is a life lesson you are learning at the moment. Difficult, but real.

This is where I get preachy. This should not have happened. Teenage pregnancy and, even worse, sexually transmitted diseases are so high and rampant in our society they seem to be out of control. You should not have “given in” to the pressure. You are still a child yourself, for that matter so is he. Think before you act. Do not get caught up in the moment. Do you realize that the world is about to unfold for you in a couple of years? What you are going through now will become a distant memory because of the new and exciting experiences that are awaiting you.

Again you are in my prayers. I hope that you get the help that you will need. In addition, you need to forgive yourself and most of all, move forward without your boyfriend. This is a done deal. This should be very evident by his reaction to you. You deserve so much better. Be strong. Keep in touch.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.

A message from Rosie

Hello Everyone,

I would like to thank all of the readers and supporters of my column “Hey Rosie”. Your feedback, support and input have been invaluable. As this column continues to evolve, I see a major need arising within our community among our young people. Many of my readers are very young people (mostly teenagers and young women) who are in crisis. Some of them write to me privately, as their stories are too painful and they do not wish to share them with the public.

My plea/request today goes out to the various professionals in our communities. Those of you who specialize in helping guide our young people through various traumas such as rape, incest, teenage pregnancy, drug addition and so forth. This is an opportunity to form an alliance through private and discreet methods to reach out, offer your assistance and expertise.

If you think that you can assist me in this mammoth task I would truly be grateful. Please email me at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com. I would like to create a network and a safe haven where our young people can feel free to unburden themselves and get the true help that they deserve. I thank you in advance for any assistance that you may be able to give.

Sincerely,
Rosanne (aka Rosie)