Hey Rosie!
August 22, 2008

Two boyfriends – am I being greedy?

Hey Rosie,

I’ve been reading your column and I am afraid to ask the question because I see you are very straight and sometimes a little hurtful with your answers, but I still am going to ask your advice.

I have two boyfriends. Yes Rosie, I hate to say it. I know it is wrong, but I like them both for different reasons.{{more}} The man I live with, who is my two sons’ father, is good to me, and we pay our rent together, our car and all the bills. He is quiet and not exciting. But we have been together for 18 years and he has never abused me or disrespected me. He is just boring!

The other guy I see about every 2-3 months (when I travel for work) and he tells me what I want to hear. We go out to the bars and clubs (I feel safe because no one knows us. We are from two different places). He is a bad boy…he has a wife and children also. The sex is great! We have a lot of fun and we have been doing this for a few years now. But I feel bad. My man at home doesn’t know, but this is eating my conscience. Help me Rosie, I like my cake, and I still want more.

Am I greedy?

Dear Am I greedy,

You are a very smart woman. A very savvy woman. A very calculating woman. A very manipulative woman. Of course, you are greedy! As you mention, you like desserts, and the more the merrier! Greedy!

Please, my friend. let’s have some real talk here for a moment! You like this set up! You get to be with your “loyal” man on a day-to-day basis. A man that most women would want to have. Good to you, the children, respectful and responsible. But no, he is “boring”, your words.

Then you get to live your “Las Vegas life” every quarter. that means what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas ( in your case, one of the islands, I guess). You meet “sweet boy”. You and he pretend that you both are single, free and disengaged! Drinks, dancing, giggling, the works. He tells you that no one is better than you and how you excite him! That fills you up until you meet again!

Be careful, my friend. Fire has a way of burning us! Sometimes it doesn’t come back in the same form, but in one that can be more terrible. At some point, take a good, hard long look at yourself in the eyes. Tell me if this is what you would want some woman to do to your sons when they grow up. Better yet, are you the type of woman your children would deserve in the future? You know the answer already. Do the right thing. Remember, that the greedy dog did drop his bone for his reflection and ended up with nothing!

Rosie.

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.