My husband isn’t interested in sex

Hey Rosie,

I have been married for three years now to a wonderful man. We just have one problem. He is not very interested in sex.

Rosie, he works very hard and is always tired, but I am really getting frustrated. I am thirty-two years old, he is 42. I don’t think he is having a relationship with anyone else, because when he is not at work, he is here at home. I am the one who always has to initiate sex. {{more}}This was the case even before we got married. I thought when we got married and began living in the same house things would be better, but to be honest Rosie, I think it is worse. He seems to enjoy sex when we do have it, and I try to be creative and dress attractively, but once a month is just not enough for me. What can I do? By the way, we have one child, a one-year-old boy.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Let me put your mind at ease….you are not alone!!! Do not get caught up with the romantic notions that everyone is having a ball all of a time together and you are the only person who is out there “high and dry”! People lie! We all have these times during marriage or in relationships.

You and your poor hubby are victims of today’s stresses! Long hours at work, trying to make ends meet, a new born baby (boy those cute buggers can really do you in!) and still trying to hold down a job, run your household and of course finding the time to enjoy your Boo!

I should also explain that you are also at different places sexually because of your ages as well. Women begin to peak sexually in their early thirties going into their forties and sometimes even fifties. I hate to say the urge may not be as strong and as consistent for our men! Their peak tends to be a little earlier than us. This is not to say that your husband is not attracted to you in the bedroom, but with the daily distractions of work and bills, the sex issue tends to be left on the back burner.

You are on the right track with by coming up with creative alternatives. However, you will have to have a sit down heart to heart with your husband and let him know your frustrations. He seems to be a great guy who is in “provider mode” for his family…financially that is. Tapping him on the shoulder and explaining to him that he may be missing a chapter or two when it comes to the matters of intimacy and handling his business (and it doesn’t always have to be sex) is important. Intimacy comes in different forms remember that.

Time alone (without the young one is very important), it gives you a chance to re-connect and remember why you are with each other. Quick calls during the day just to say, “hi” is another tip…just “hi” though not why he didn’t take out the garbage! No one wants to hear that! Code words between the both of you to remind each other about an up coming “date”. These are just a few things that begin to help both of you re-introduce yourselves to each other.

All is not lost! Once you get him on board to playing along with the game plan you may be pleasantly surprised that a spark may be reignited. Let me know girl. I know you have a good man who I agree is not cheating on you (he is just tired), however things can get back on track. You now have your project. Go forward and get an A!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or P.O Box 152, Kingstown, St. Vincent & the Grenadines.