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I’m not as ‘tight’ as I would like


Dear Helen

I WOULD like your advice on what to do to get a well-toned vagina and pelvic floor. I am 19, highly sexually active, weigh 175 pounds, and been having sex for over three years now.

However, since my vagina has lost its grip or hold during sex, I can hardly feel my partner’s penis inside of me. The pelvic floor exercises seem not to be helping since I am doing it correctly and everyday, but I am not getting a good result.{{more}}

Can I do something else like using blue soap? I heard this soap helps tighten it also. Please, I need your help to keep my partner from getting lost and to help my vagina be tight again?


Dear Marva,

IN reading this question, I can’t help wondering how tall you are for your weight. Without having that guide, I will answer this assuming you’re less than 5ft 6ins. I therefore suspect that your body mass index, or ratio of height to weight is 25 to 30 (nearer 30). The index for health is 20 to 24.

When overweight, as much as men may admire a few extra pounds on a woman, our heart, pelvic floor, blood pressure and internal organs don’t thank us as much.

Keep doing your pelvic floor exercises, but try and lose a bit of that extra weight.

If you retain the extra pounds, the extra fat that’s padding you out, is going to continue pressing in areas you’d rather it doesn’t – your vagina – and you’ll continue to have more of an uphill struggle toning your pelvic floor than if you lost the extra pounds.

Even though you’re only 19 and highly sexually active, why not pop along to see your doctor who can check you over before you start a diet and exercise regime, in order to become more ‘fit for sex’.

If you continue to gain weight, you are increasing your risks of developing hypertension (high blood pressure), heart disease, diabetes and other health problems – which are compounded several times more if you also smoke. (You don’t hint that you smoke, so I’m just mentioning that in case any overweight smokers are reading this.)

Let us know how it goes – and don’t try to rush it. For most people, losing weight entails a lifestyle change for the better.

Good luck and happy squeezing as the extra padding falls off.


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