How I got AIDS

CONFESSIONS FROM HER DIARY PART 1

My search is not a simple one. In my path I have encountered enemies, friends, intellectuals, acquaintances, but still my search continues. To put it simply, the only thing I desire is a man who would accept me as I am, because in spite of everything, I still believe in love. My story is all too common, but all too real, and it hurts…{{more}}

We met Friday, the 30th of March to be exact, at Club Crossroads. It was the end of a stressful month and I just needed to unwind, to change my routine a bit. During the day, I had a manicure, a pedicure and even a complete body massage. Nikki was looking and feeling good! That night I was dressed to kill and out to make a statement without saying a word – just watch me!

Everybody was watching me, so I decided to make a couple laps round the nightclub to scope out the prospects. My eyes caught a glimpse of this really sexy guy. He was staring at me and I was praying that he would come over, but he seemed busy joking around with his friends. Besides, I was told that you never approach a man since they either take you for granted or think you’re desperate.

“Give him time,” I said to myself, “he’ll be here.”

The brother was taking a while to come over, so I started moving my hips to a slow tune from Beres Hammond. That did the trick. After about two minutes, I felt a warm breath on my ears and a silky smooth voice said: “Why are you doing this to me? Moves like that can torment the very root of a man’s soul!”

Despite the loud thumping of the music and the screaming of teenagers, the voice was crystal clear. On turning around, I came face to face with the kind of man who would make your mama proud, your friends jealous and your children the talk of the town. He was even better looking up close. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but there was something about this guy that had me falling … falling … and I couldn’t get up. He had me from hello…

At first I wanted to laugh, but there was a sincerity about this man. He offered to buy me a drink and I accepted because I wanted to be close to this heaven-sent creature. This gave my eyes the perfect opportunity to absorb his maleness for a while longer.

Our conversation jumped from topic to topic as the beers and rum flowed. We realized that we had a lot in common and most importantly, he made me laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I had enjoyed myself so much, or spoke so openly with anyone.

Brandon was an excellent dancer, and I learned a thing or two from him that night. He knew when to come close and when to draw back ’cause the fire between us was getting “hotta” and “hotta”. The man was just fine!

Pam arrived at about 1 o’clock with her boyfriend saying how she was sorry for making me wait so long, but at that time I couldn’t care less if she hadn’t come at all. I introduced her to Brandon and when he looked away, she gave a nod of approval. Being the good friend that she has always been, Pam looked for some excuse to leave us alone and then disappeared.

Brandon’s friends pulled out on him and since I couldn’t find Pam anywhere, I offered him a ride home. I wasn’t sleepy and I couldn’t leave him just yet, or didn’t want to. The next thing I know, we’re up Fort holding hands, kissing and looking at stars. He was so tall that he seemed to tower above me, and when he pulled me closer so that my head could rest on his chest, I was convinced that this was the “pillow” my head had been searching for all of my life. In that moment I felt completely secure.

I’m not sure if it was the stars or the moonlight that was setting the stage for the heat that filled my car, but it was unbearable. My mind told me it had to stop, but my body didn’t want to obey. No! I never have sex on the first date. When I pulled away, Brandon looked liked a man possessed with passion. He was able to read my mind and we both cooled off before dropping him home.

The next day, he invited me to Bequia. I was pleasantly surprised and delighted to learn that he didn’t see the night before as just a casual fling.

For the space of one year, my life was complete. Brandon was a “sweet talker” who knew exactly what I wanted to hear and what would make me happy. He was a “Lady’s Man”. I can still remember the romantic trips to the Grenadines, the flowers delivered to me for no special reason, the promises of a bright future filled with everlasting love… Every moment spent together was special because Brandon emphasized on every single detail. This was the kind of love you read about or never thought possible. He was always attentive and gentle. In turn, I gave up practically everything for him. My friendship with Pam suffered, because all of my time was for Brandon.

Continued next week.