My daughter wants to be a DJ when she grows up! What should I do?

Dear Life Coach,

My 11-year-old daughter told me that she wants to be a DJ when she grows up, but I don’t think that’s a good profession for a girl. I’m trying to steer her away from that. In fact, I want her to be exactly what I am: an entrepreneur, since I come from a long line of business owners, but she is refusing to listen to me and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?{{more}}

Persistent Entrepreneur (PE)

Dear PE,

You are afraid that your daughter will not follow the family tradition of becoming an entrepreneur like you, and you want to know how to persuade her to.

Your Situation:

Here are some factors that have contributed to your present situation: family tradition, professionalism, entrepreneurship, your child’s aspirations, and helping your child to achieve her dreams. These I will address briefly.

Family Tradition

Family tradition refers to the range of beliefs, ideas, attitudes, and practices that are transmitted from one generation to another; e.g. your father and grandfather were entrepreneurs and so are you. This means that the family has groomed each child to carry on the family business.

Professionalism

A profession is a job that requires a long period of training and certification before one is permitted the right or privilege to perform it; for example, becoming a doctor. In this modern age, there is a multiplicity of professions and over the past three decades, jobs that were not considered to be of high importance for those who are ambitious have now become main-stream, such as sports and entertainment, and being a movie star or a DJ. This is because although traditions tend to be stable, they are also susceptible to the global economy.

Entrepreneurship

An entrepreneur is a person who starts and maintains a business and takes financial risks with the intention of making a profit. Today more and more individuals are becoming entrepreneurs and this is evidenced by a proliferation of small business ventures, as well as ‘higglers/hustlers’ on the streets; it appears as though everyone is selling something, no matter how small.

What to Do:

Help your Daughter to Live her Own Dream

Your role as a parent is to support and guide your daughter so that she may become a success in life; so, help her to achieve her own dreams. She may not be interested in your line of work, and she might not carry on the family tradition (because things and times change, including traditions), but as long as her choice is worthwhile and good, she should be encouraged to pursue her dream. Here are some tips that you may find helpful in so doing:

Do not Worry

Your daughter is quite young, so do not worry too much about her current aspirations. She will want to be whatever she admires at the moment and is likely to change with time and new exposure. As she grows older, she may very well internalize your behaviour and attitudes and may also become a family entrepreneur, similar to how you did.

Ensure Exposure in Multiple Areas

In order for your daughter to be healthy and successful she should be exposed to at least three extracurricular activities of her choice on a weekly basis. So, enroll her in various aspects of music and or other activities. As your daughter becomes acquainted with new disciplines she will develop new interests. You will also be able to assess her skills and abilities and encourage and steer her in those areas for which she is most suited.

Support your Daughter’s Aspirations

Your daughter (like every individual) is born with a purpose and a destiny to be fulfilled. Usually there is an inner yearning in keeping with this destiny which creates a drive and interest. You and your daughter, though similar, are different in many ways. For her healthy development, your daughter must be given enough room to individuate, that is, to separate from you (her parent) and become her own person with her own interests and desires. If you force your daughter to live your dream, she is bound to feel unloved and unhappy, since accepting her dream is a part of accepting who she is.

Goal Setting

By age 14 you and your daughter should have a better idea of where she wants to go in life and you can help her to decide on a profession in keeping with her desires. If your daughter is in secondary school, she will be expected to sit the CXC exams and as such, will be allowed to chose subjects in line with her career interest, while keeping it broad enough for her to make changes within that general field. Start from now to help your daughter to picture herself as a success in life, even if you are not certain what field she will pursue and help her to set goals around that, such as doing her homework every night, passing her Common Entrance Exams, passing her CXC, and going on to college.

Alternate Goals

Sometimes when we have a goal in life which cannot be achieved, we often settle for a secondary goal; for example, someone who wanted to become a doctor may eventually become a nurse. So, your daughter could be encouraged to be a radio announcer, if not a DJ, or pursue a career in some aspect of music, since that is what she likes. She may even end up in the business. So, continue to support and encourage her.

PS, the key is to ensure that your daughter is equipped for life and is a success; the area in which she operates is hers for the taking.

Need help with relationship and other problems? Ask DYNACII’s Life Coach. Email your questions to dynacii@gmail.com. To chat with the Life Coach, visit: http://www.dynacinternational.com. Dynamic Action Center International Inc. (DYNACII) a non-governmental organization committed to social and spiritual empowerment.