Dr Jozelle Miller
July 25, 2017

More characteristics of people with low self-esteem

You shy away from risks: People with low self-esteem are afraid to take even small, calculated risks. They’re too busy worrying about what people will think, or what will happen if they fail. When your self-esteem is high, you trust yourself and you don’t care if you fail. You know failure is part of learning new things.

You’re lazy. Being lazy isn’t just lying around whining, although it can be. Being lazy means you’re satisfied with the status quo. You don’t try new things. You don’t do new things and you don’t look for ways to improve, change or enhance the life you have. You’re safe and satisfied with where you are. You’re lazy if you procrastinate, or dread working harder than the absolute minimum you need to keep your job or get by in relationships or work.

You can’t work without compliments: People with low self-esteem need others to build them up. They’re constantly seeking approval and compliments, needing the reassurance of others that they’re “doing okay”. If you can’t just look in the mirror, or pat yourself on the back and work without someone constantly propping up your ego, you may have low self-esteem.

You follow rather than lead: True, the world needs followers, but if you’re following because you have a strong need to belong to a group or clique, rather than because you have a strong passion for a cause, chances are you’ve got low self-esteem. People with strong self-esteem do follow others from time-to-time, but most of the time they are creating their own path, finding their own causes and celebrating their own uniqueness. If belonging to something bigger than yourself means more to you than the cause itself, you may be a follower. If being liked and accepted by others in the crowd is more important than the cause, you’re probably a follower.

You dwell on your failures, rather than your successes: If you think more about the times you failed, rather than the times you got what you wanted, you probably have low self-esteem. People with strong self-esteem enjoy their successes. They learn from their failures and move on. People with low self-esteem can find a hundred reasons why something won’t work or will go wrong. People with high self-esteem can give you a hundred reasons why the impossible is possible, or how any challenge can be conquered.

You bully people: Bullying doesn’t mean you go around beating people up, although it could. Bullying means saying mean things to a person, or tearing them down, making fun of them, belittling them or putting them down. It means being a mean girl, or mean guy. Bullying is a tactic people with low self-esteem rely on, because their social toolbox has no other social skills in it. People with low self-esteem rely on intimidation, gossip and bullying, because they literally don’t know how to interact with others on a level playing field.