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Everytime I am around him I feel turned on

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Dear Pastor,

Greetings. I have wanted to write you for quite a while but I had set backs. Well there is this guy who I had a relationship with about ten years ago. I cheated on him and had a baby and different relationships since. Well now both of us are working together and we have lots of things in common. One night while we were working together I felt this sudden intimacy for this guy. We spoke about it and he felt the same way.{{more}}

I guess I panicked a bit because I started to stay away from him as much as possible, but everything he is in involved in, even in the community I seem to be attached to in some way too. Pastor, I think I love him and we have a lot in common. I am a Christian now but he is not one. And every time I am around him I feel turned on and I am worried about how I will deal with it.

Is it wrong to feel this way about someone who is unsaved? How should I handle this, I am a bit afraid that I am still in love with him.

Please help me.

Hello to you,

Firstly, your Christian commitment is a choice that you have made. You heard the gospel (wherever and whenever), you believed in your heart, by faith and received the grace and mercy of the Lord and confessed Jesus Christ as Lord. “Whosoever will” is the declaration of John 3:16 and you said, “I will”.

With this choice and purposeful pursuit of His will came his continued anointing and guidance in your life as He leads you into His will for your life and guides you through the maze of life as you honor his name and exalt His will above all else. Yes, you can shout PRAISE THE LORD there!

But hold up, this choice has not stopped life and its challenges. It doesn’t stop your body from urging you to react to what or who is before you, including this old flame, so the fact that he is not a Christian doesn’t stop him from being attractive in your eyes…but your decision to serve the Lord should stop you from doing anything to jeopardize your walk with the Lord…in fact force you to run (in whatever form that takes) from the very notion of dishonoring your Savior. So darling, you have to start by acknowledging your feelings, line them up with God’s word and as you already seem to know what He said (about being unequally yoked and sexual immorality) take the necessary spiritual steps (honest, earnest prayer , fasting and seeking of counsel to name a few) to prevent the devil from having room in your life. Then there are the steps of wisdom like keeping your contact with this man to only what is necessary to the fulfillment of your mutual responsibilities.

You can’t do anything about your past but your future is in your hands and from what you stated I get the idea that you have made enough mistakes in the department of your love life.

I know those who will say what’s the big deal and cite the many Christian marriages that are on the rocks any how and give you the soap opera suggestion of fulfilling the call of the “aligning of the stars” as it were, giving you a second chance at this eternal love.

Truth is you two may get together, get married and live a great life and even outlast many of us whose marriages came with the full blessings of the guidelines and instructions of scripture (as it regards the unequally yoked question), but hear me.

I have been a Christian for twenty years, I haven’t always found what the Lord instructed on several matters in various areas of life easy to obey and truth be told I haven’t always obeyed. But one thing I have never, never done is question His authority and I am convinced that His will is always right. And if you are a Christian, darling, bite the bullet, take the temporary discomfort of fighting your desires…God’s will is always a sure bet, always!!

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