I’m afraid of my boyfriend’s temper

Dear Pastor Jackson,

I always enjoy reading your articles. Keep up the good work that you have been doing.

Pastor, I have a problem that is a bit embarrassing but really affects me. {{more}}

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a long time now. Recently he hinted that he wanted to get married and change his life and serve God. Pastor, I agree with that idea, but we have some serious issues that we must deal with and he doesn’t want us to get help.

My boyfriend is a good man but he has a bad temper at times. So sometimes when he is upset and we have an argument he might pelt something at me or slap me and I am afraid to marry him with that problem.

Pastor, he has never beat me up or anything like that and things don’t get like that often, but I believe we need help.

And there is a sexual matter that I am also concerned about with him, and he doesn’t even want to visit a doctor to check things out.

Pastor, I really want to get married and change my life too, but I don’t want to marry him knowing that I have a lot of concerns, and then our marriage fails.

Needs Help

Hello,

You are right; one should not enter a marriage with glaring concerns. That would be stupid! The truth is even after you are married other problems may pop up and old situations may resurface. If that happens then you remember your vows, trust the Lord, seek help if you need to but work it out. But to see situations like you have described before you get married and not at least seek help first is ill advised in my mind. You and your boyfriend definitely need counselling so as to identify the root of your problems and take a possible corrective course of action.

If your relationship is solid and your love for each other genuine, added to your commitment towards spiritual change, then I believe that you have the right ingredients to facilitate meaningful change, with the right guidance. As for the sexual concerns, it is again wise to check that out.

I believe your boyfriend may be a bit afraid to open up about his problems and may even be a bit too proud, but you will be right to insist that you guys seek help. Your domestic violence situation is of great concern to me… remember, even one slap is out of line!

Pastor Jackson