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Ex-girlfriend making my life a living hell

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Dear Pastor Jackson,

I am dealing with a problem that is really getting me upset. I usually read your articles and I like the way you give advice, so I would really appreciate your take on my problem.
I was in a relationship with my ex-girlfriend for the last three years but some things happened and we broke up. {{more}} I really do not want to go into the details of why we broke up, only to say that it was the only way to deal with it.
Pastor, breaking up was my idea, and I still stand by it. My ex-girlfriend knew why I made the decision and she knows I am right. But now that I am seeing someone else, she is going around saying things that are not true.
Pastor Jackson, I spoke to her about it but now she has this aggression about her and she is openly scandalizing my name, and I am really fed up. I tried to remain friends with her through our breaking up, but now I cannot stand to see her. I am not one for public showdowns and even writing to papers like this, but I am at the end of the line with this nonsense.

Fed up.

Dear Fed Up,

Your ex-girlfriend is jealous. I am not trying to simplify your problem but it is really simple. She might have known that your reasons for breaking up were justified, but now that you are “moving on” she can’t bear it. You see, while you are “broken up” there is still hope for reconciliation and this might have been her secret wish, but now that your eyes are in another direction she is finally seeing the finish line, and it hurts.
She is, however, dealing with it very immaturely and should be surrounded by friends and family who can reassure her that life goes on … helping her to deal with the hurt. You see, even though someone is at fault in a break-up situation, it still causes pain to move on from three years of building a close relationship… now pulled away from you.
Please be mature about it and do not retaliate in an equally immature way. I don’t know what she is saying about you but it seems to be hurtful stuff which may be difficult to simply ignore.
So if there are any members in her family – her parents, etc. or close friends that you have a good relationship with and whom she looks up to, you may consider getting their input in trying to bring her to her senses so that she can stop lashing out – sabotaging your reputation – simply to get back at you.
All things being equal, as she moves on with her life and if you handle this bump properly she might very well apologize to you later on, so be a big man about it, ride through the storm… The truth will set you free. If what she is saying are lies, your character will survive it.

Pastor Jackson

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