Dear Pastor
June 11, 2004

Just leave out that cheating man!

Dear Pastor,

I am a reader of your weekly column, and I am pleased with the answers you give to young people like myself. Now, I am writing this on behalf of a friend.
My friend has this boyfriend who cheats on her with all sorts of women, and he even brings them to his house. My friend is also living there with him. Whenever she talks about these women – whom he sleeps around with – he gets mad. He even went so far as to tell her that he only wants her. {{more}}He said these other women are for sexual pleasure only. My friend is very confused and doesn’t know what to do. Should she leave or stay with this guy?
I want all you ladies out there to know that men like these still exist and please keep your heads on and don’t be fooled by them.

Concerned friend


Dear Concerned Friend,

Are you sure you are writing on behalf of a friend or yourself?
Because, whether it is your friend or you, only an insecure or totally crazy woman will still be asking if they should leave. Men who have those agreements with women do it because they have placed no value on those women’s sense of pride or reasoning.
Listen, we all know that some people cheat on each other; it’s wrong, but it happens. But for this man to bring women home, boldfaced, and try to justify it, speaks volumes about your friend…. And I do not mean that in a good sense.
If your friend (or you) is still there and is not being held under threats of violence or something like that, then she likes it, and she is only minding her business. If it is yourself you are referring to in disguise, then you are just wasting my time.
There is nothing to be confused about. Leave! Just leave, because it is a mind-blowing contradiction when you warn ladies in your letter, and I quote: “Men like these still exist and please keep your heads on and don’t be fooled by them,” and still ask what you should do.
If it is that you (or your friend) don’t have anywhere to go, trust me, anywhere is better than in that situation…..
Some kind person will meet your need.

Pastor Jackson