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Covidiots! Covidiots! Covidiots!

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Some people unknowingly mess wid words like saying, ‘dis year de Go-venom-mint will have “Physical problems” instead of “Fiscal Problems!” Dat’s Malaprop-is-him of course. And some people deliberately tek parts of two words and mek one, like “Brunch”, having ah meal between Breakfast and Lunch, dat is called “Portmanteau”, adapted from de French “Portemanteau” words foh “ah Porter who carries ah Mantle.” Now ah saw de word COVIDIOT somewhere and ah asked Lie-Za what she gather from dat word; wid ah snap ah de fingers she said: “Dat’s ah new Virus found in an IDIOT who ignores Hell’t warnings about COVID-19.” Simple instructions like social distancing, avoiding crowded class-rooms and vehicles/mini-vans, rushing foh Gift Packages, Love Box; cover de face, wear ah Mask: Sanitize, wash brains… oops, hand.”

So ah asked her about sending her kids out to school. Another snap ah de fingers, she said: “yes, once de transportation is worked out, and Sanitizing: liquid, wipes or ‘soap’n’water. Some schools have received three bottles ah sanitizers. Lie-Za hope dat’s foh de first day at school.

JIMMY YUH MINISTRY NEED AH SHAKE UP

Five years ago one ah my kids attended ah two weeks Summer Program called STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) at St. Martins Sec School. At de end of de program, some of de students gave demonstrations with Robots dey had actually built from scratch during de Camp. Ah was so floored, dat de very next week, ah men-shun in my Column dat St. Martins Secondary School has something good going. No wonder de Catholic Schools are now well entrenched in de On Line Learning Program.

Am asking if dey’s ah structured IT program in de schools’ Curriculum? Is there coordination and sharing among schools? Den why are we scrambling now Bus? De Roman Catholics (RC) who have been in Eddy-care-shun long before everybody, and who see Eddy-care-shun as part of de Holistic Development; have fortunately gone ah step ahead in de proposed On Line Teaching. RC is not Covitious, I’ll bet dey will gladly share. It is in de Ministry’s place to mek de move. Lie-Za is ah bit hard, she say de Ministry of Eddy-care-shun needs ah Shake Up!

NUFF RESPECTS FOH UWI’S LEADERSHIP

While we at home behaving like COVIDIOTS playing ‘catch-up’ wid de plight of our beloved 75 students stranded at UWI (Jah-mek-her) and elsewhere, de Leadership at UWI (Vice-Chancellor, Campus Principals, Pro Vice-Chancellors, University Bursar and University Registrar) have all committed to allocating a percentage of their salaries for the next three months towards a student hardship fund.

The offer of a salary-source contribution from the executive leadership to enhance student well-being “is another part of the UWI CARES Project.” What ah one-dah-full gesture coming from the principals across UWI’s five campuses. Ah not surprised dat de name Sir Hilary Beckles, ah UWI Vice Chancellor is there. He is “Our Carry Beyond Voice of Justice.” He sees dis investment (sacrifice) as “a Justice Gesture to further illustrate our commitment.” and is calling on UWI alumni to participate in fundraising. Every Pry-Minister in de region is ah UWI ah-loom-nigh. Today, dey ready to kick down de same ladder (stranded students) dat dey climbed to reach de top ah de building. Lie-Za asking me when are de Pull-it-tek-all COVIDIOTS in de region going to tek ah pay-cut; and when are some ah these useless ministers going to be laid off?

SIR JAMES IS 90 MINUS ONE TODAY

Fry-day is Sir James’ Big Day. Ah didn’t say it’s Fry-day’s Big Day. Dat’s coming! Sir James will be 90-1, Dem Mitchells are long livers. Lie-Za particularly loved his weird scents-ah-humor. Like his family planning tips to de young people: “Bat but doh Score.” She reminds me dat Sir James was PM foh 16 years and has been out of office foh 20 years now, and still nippy, attending conferences wid other world leaders. When he was sixty-nine, no pun on 6 tee 9, or de 6 fee 9! Sir James felt de vibes and handed over to Arm-in. Today Sir James finds peace and (w)health swimming up and down de shores of Bequia every day. My buddy on de hill overlooking Sir James’ hotel, tells me he never knew dat Bing, de Bad Man of Talk Show Radio, can’t swim! He saw Bing in de sea wid Sir James, his Father-in-law, he all geared like ah scuba diver, snorkels, goggles, flippers and guess what? Floaters on both hands and feet. I’m sure de Nay-shun will join Lie-Za and me in wishing Sir James de Very Best foh his 89th Birthday.

DE NAY-SHUN’S TREASURE

How can I leave my Nurses foh last, as dey celebrate Nurses Week. Ah spoke last week how important Nurses are. We must love dem even though de injection needle is hot at times. Minister Luke Browne was quite gracious in expressing kind sentiments to de Nurses. But how eye-run-ache, when he presented every single one ah dem wid ah token! No, not ah Star at all, it was ah Key, de symbol of de NDP. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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