De Lickle boy who saved Holland

I AM SURE it was in my Thomas Nelson’s Royal Reader dat ah read ah story ‘bout ah lickle Dutch Boy who lived in ah coastal village in Holland. He was coming from school and saw ah hole in one ah de Dykes. Holland is fear-most foh Dykes, a wall along the beach or coast dat prevents the rough waves of de North Sea from flooding de villages or towns. Knowing de serious outcome, de lickle fella took off his shirt, wrapped it round his hand and plugged de hole. When darkness crept in, his concerned parents who noticed he did not come home, went looking for him. Dey he was, tired and scared, certainly happy dey had arrived just in time to take over from him. By then de news had gone spiral and villagers came wid dey tools and mortar, plugged de hole thereby saving the whole city from flooding and possible disaster. As ah result de lickle fellar became de hero of Nelson’s Story: “ The Little boy who saved Holland.”

Now ah wondering if we in SVG don’t have ah similar story of merit, coming out of an Heroic display of patriotism and courage by de Lady, who three days after she returned from de UK, exhibited symptoms of the Virus. Boldly she went foh ah test dat proved to be “positive” for de wretched Virus dat fears neither Prince nor Pauper.

Pandemonium broke loose when de Hell’t Ministry announced dat SVG had registered its first positive case of de Coronavirus, stating also dat de person is in self-quarantine at home, and dey’s no need to panic. Well people wanted more answers!

Who is de person? Is de person male or female?

Way s/he lives? Wouldn’t s/ he be ah threat to de community? But de Ministry held its ground and quite rightly refused to divulge any further details.

Happily de lady’s name and identity remain anonymous, for good reason chief of which would be her own privacy and security. She remains anonymous. Searchlight front page story refers to her as “Patient Zero,” Lie-Za keep calling her Miss Garifuna 2020. However, Miss Garifuna 2020 has almost completed her period of confinement and is about to be declared Cured of de Virus.

Thank you lady! Thank You very much foh boldly coming forward and offering yu-self to be tested. Like de lickle Boy who plugged de Dyke wid his hands and saved Holland, you my dear lady, have quite possibly saved your community, and by extension you might very well have possibly saved SVG, from what could have been ah wide-spread outbreak of Coronavirus.

Maybe you should be invited to share wid de nay-shun your journey through COVID 19. Yuh never know but after hearing you, we might respond more responsibly to the pandemic.

Lie-Za say de PM tried his utmost not to Re-invent de wheel; so he listened to every other PM in de region, make ah Nah-shun-all statement on de Coronavirus CIVID 19 Pan-dem-ache. After ah whole month widout ah proper statement, he came up wid ah Master Speech.

He copied ah lickle piece from Mia, ah lickle piece from Keith Mitchell, ah lickle piece from Rosevelt, ah big piece from Rowly, and ah teeny-weeny piece from his Mulatto Cousin Ah-land Cast-ah-net!

Hear this, all de pressure he gave Timothy Harris favouring Dense-Ill Dug-Last, he still turn round and copied de whole ah Timothy Harris speech.

De only original Master Stroke in de PM’s speech was he moving Christmas forward to June, so he could give Barrel concession before de early Elect-shun he planning.

And wid dat is gone ah gone again, One Love Bassy.

● Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.