Don’t blame de Grinch!

It’s beginning to look ah lot like Christmas, my fear-foh-it Season. Ah could feel de changes in de Air (warm in de day, cold at nights!) Ah not hearing e-nuff of my kind ah music on de Raid-yo stay-shun though, dem ole time Christmas Gems, Anthems like “Joy to de World” or “Hark de Herald Angels Sing.” Ah uses to love Bing Crosby’s Christmas Anthem “Dreaming of ah White Christmas” until ah spent two White Christmas in Calgary, Alberta, way if it did not snow, ah began to worry. Lie-Za’s fare-foh-it on de Christmas chart is: “I’ll have ah Blue Christmas widout Lie-Owe.” But ah not even hearing e-nuff or any of “CP’s” Vincy No.1 Christmas Parrang, wistfully penned by Lennox Bowman: “Ah Love Me Christmas”. These simple songs are de lickle things dat tell me “it’s Christmas” and doh let de Grinch spoil it.

Dis week ah would ah like to touch on de notable increase in de length of those disciplined Q’s of partly happy, partly sadly looking faces outside de offices of de money machines, Western Union and Money Gram. De cash cows way remittances from loved ones in de die-us-poorer are quickly delivered and quickly spent. Fast-E-come, Fast-E-go! Some would wisely put aside what belongs to de Water, Light and Telephone providers; but foh others it’s Sunday afternoon shopping. Dat Middle Street block between de Market up to Heritage Square is busy like Downtown Brooklyn or Manhatten… people like ah wall-to-wall carpet, spending what dey ain’t wuk for, buying what dey doh need.

Yes ah would ah like to say much about de Barrels coming in, Barrel-lie-test Time. Nuff drama in de Barrel Amnesty. Can’t bring it home too early mek de near-bah see yuh get Barrel, dey go be looking foh dey share, even though dey done unpack dey Barrel. So yu wait till Christmas Eve night to bring it home, when everybody turn off dey lights, to pretend dey sleeping, in case Santa Claws pass early to drop off more gifts.

DE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Yes ah would ah like to write how long ago Christmas Eve night, everybody up doing last minute decorating de house, hanging up curtains, fire burning all round de yard. Two Coal pots in one corner blazing, one wid de Ham, de other wid de pork and beef stewing; and on de other side ah de yard, de drum oven wid fire blazing pon top, fire below, baking cake and bread, and sweet bread.

While all de cooking and dolling up de house going on, de near-bar-hood blasting wid loud music in de ear and air. De sound of de Bum Drum beating in de distance, closer home is de String Band with Guitar, Cuatro, Banjo and Flute. And right on yuh door step is de lickle children trying ah thing say dey carolling.

EXORCISING DE GRINCH

Ah really want to go on and on wid me Christmas, but ah cant. Ah would not, my Christ-mas conscience haunting me. De silence is deafening, everybody mute! Nothing from de Go-venom-mint high-rocky, nothing from Christian Council, de Cold-lay-shun of Churches, nah man. Ah have to tek time out and deal wid de Grinch, de-man-star, who had ah busy year full of activities: Steal-in! Rob-in! Shoot-in! Kill-in! Gang Rape-in… again! Rape-in Protective Custody! Is some frightening reports coming out. Way going on in sweet SVG, Hairoun tun High-ruin, Home of de Blessed? Six youngsters gang-raped ah 15-year-ole girl, dey held her hands and feet, cover her mouth while she was VDO taped by her girlfriend?????.

And just as bad is de Police matter, senior officers, ah will cover me tracks and say, allegedly Raped ah young girl who was placed into protective custody in ah police stay-shun, we hear was more dan one police involved? Lie-Za’s sketch-she reporting is dat de poor Girl bawl-out “Oh God dis is too much, ah rather kill me-self!”. I bawling out too: “Oh God have mercy pon us. Oh God where are dem women who ranted and raged at de Rape Rally in Unity Square, when de Prime Minister’s name was called in an ah-ledge Rape matter. Lord. if by chance dey had presumptuously evoke Your wrath and brought blight pond dis fair land, forgive us!”

By de way, would Margaret London kindly send me her recording of de one who did de Opening Prayer at dat Rape Rally, and what did s/he asked for. Ah one-dah way s/he is today. God is not mocked, we must not tek serious business and play games wid Him. And when we stand up in public to address God, wanting to sound good, be carefull what we ask foh, especially calling foh an Amen! “Oh God! Merciful Father remove from among us de Scourge, de Evil One! de Grinch in whatever form, fashion or shape: Man! De-Man! Man-Star. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!” And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.