What ah great Splish Splash dat would be
“IF ALL de Seas were one Sea, what a great Sea dat would be? And if all de Trees were one Tree, what ah great Tree dat would be? And if all de Axes (Acts) were one Axe (Act), what ah great Axe (Act) dat would be? Yes if all de Men and dem were one Man, what ah great Man he would be? And wah go happen if dat great Man tek up dat great Axe and chop down dat great Tree, and mek it fall into dat great Sea, what ah great Splish-Splash dat would be!”
Ah remember de fun we had in Primary School reciting dat Poem; especially de “boys-thrust” outburst de whole class uses to mek at de ending: “What ah Splish-Splash dat would be!”
Splish-Splash is like listening to Fin-ants Ministar Calm-U-low earlier dis weak, listing ah number ah Hot-hells dah coming on stream, even Book-Ah-Mah is on de front burner, promising foh its fourth aborted re-opening. “Man If all de Promises were one Promise….”
How many ah we remember ah lickle less dan 60 years ago, when ah U.S. Hot-hell-yah name John Houser, stormed de country wid his brilliant I-dare of putting ah Hot-hell on Young Island. Joshua was in office and he gave Houser de island foh next to nutten, ah deal not even ah pauper could refuse.
De country went Via’r-all at de time. But years later we all lived to eat we words, when Young Island Resorts was listed among de “Best in its class!” But Lie-Za was telling me dat today Young Island Resort is, or was owned by ah group of Vin-sin-shuns, including ah former PM and ah former G.G. And dat de same Young Island Resorts has been on de market foh sale foh some time. However, she refusing to beat-up pon Calm-U-Low Optis- him, but in response to his statement dat “de Go-venom-mint getting involved in de construction of two state-owned hotels as part of ah larger Ray-nonsense in Hot-hell construction in SVG,” de list is long: Hot-hell in Die-man, Hot-hell in Rat-ah-mill, Hot-hell way Mount Win, even Peter’s Hope in foh Hot-hell, so why doesn’t Calm-U-Low invite these same Hot-hell Con-glamour-ate, ‘Marry- yet Enter-nah-shun-all’ and ‘Holly-dey-in-resort’ to tek over Young Island Resorts and Book-ah-Mah two-get-her. Den she added her own lines to de Poem: “If all dem Hot-hells dat Calm-U-low going bill were one great Hotel as great as Young Island, what ah Great Splish-Splash dat would be. And now she asking if Hot-hells still come under Tour-is-him, if so, wah happen to Cess, have dey Mock-he?
AH SLISH SPLASH FOH TRI TRI
Just ah reminder foh those ah we who love we Tri Tri, and keep asking when to expect ah catch. Well de ole Tri Tri Men’n’dem
who does fish fo Tri Tri, tell me dat harvesting is seasonal and de peak months are those ending wid de letters “BER” as in Septem-BER, Octo-BER, Novem-BER and Decem-BER, months wid Latin prefix: 7, 8, 9, 10: . Harvest time foh Tri Tri is de third and fourth day between Last Quarter and Full Moon.
If our farmers in de mountain would stop dumping toxic chemicals in de land dat finally run down-hill into de streams, den Tri Tri, Crab and Cray Fish will end-joy ah full-some life and we will certainly get more of these nutricious delicacies to eat. It is not Septem-BER yet, but ah looking foh ah lickle Tri Tri on Monday and Tuesday, August 26 or 27. If anybody see Freddy Finch tell him to buy ah Searchlight and read when to expect Tri Tri. How bout ah line in de Poem foh Tri Tri: “if all ah de Tri Tri were one Tri Tri what ah Splish Splash dat Great Tri Tri will be! And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.
● Bassy Alexander is a land Surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.