Is ah lot ah people who still playing Candle maker wid God

Ah was telling Lie-Za dat one sure thing dat came out at “Doc Adams” funeral service, was dat every tribute sort ah ‘piggy-back’on his pool of Anecdotes, ah commodity dat he was never short in supply. In sophisticated circles he was “ah Master Raconteur,” definition of “ah man wid ah short story to bring out unlikely narratives dat prove to be true.” Here at home in creole circle he would ah bin “ah Nansi Story Man.” So ah gave her one dat Doc told me about de passenger boat carrying traffickers to T’n’T back in de ole days. On board was ground provision, wid goat, sheep, pig, and passengers travelling First Class, everybody sprawled out on deck. De seas were rough and de boat began to sink.

Immediately de Captain invited all to start praying because de end was near. On de side ah de deck was ah Candle-maker or Spirit craftsman wid his eyes focused on de 30-foot tall ship mast, his left hand pointing to de top, praying loud and clear foh all to hear: “Father God ah promise dat if Yuh spare my life, de first thing ah will do when ah reach ashore, is to mek Yuh ah Candle as tall as dis ship mast.”

Ah female Trafficker sitting next to him overheard his conversation wid God, she was very upset and shocked! Wid her elbow, she nudged him in his rib-cage : “Shame on yuh!” she said, “yuh have no respect foh God, what are yuh trying to do to us?” And de crafty fellar put his index finger on his mouth beckoning her to be quiet, and den he said to her: “Shooo, ah trying ah thing, ah fooling God!”

To my surprise Lie-Za didn’t even smile. “Dat’s not ah joke,” she said. “Is ah lot ah people who still playing Candle maker wid God.” We both agreed dat one sure thing is dat God has ah great sense ah humour. We also agreed dat real humour would be when de Come-Red and Fry-dey kneel down to appeal to God foh help in de Petition or even de next Elect-shun. She wants to be “ah fly on de wall” In one corner de Come-Red would be telling God how if God gave him de Elect-shun in 2020, he will break down de Anglican Cathedral and re-build ah new one out ah gold and marble. And dat Lie-Za say she could just hear God reminding de Come-Red dat his friend Mad-Euro in Venezuela is in trouble, or maybe dey’s truth in de rumour dat Pet-throw-Carib money dey hey. Ah told Lie-Za dat it looks like de Come-red in trouble. She said never, she could just hear him telling de Lord dat nobody helped him to win de Elect-shun in 2001, 2005, 2010 and 2015, If push come to shove he could get all his Pastors and Bishops to petition God on his behalf wid ah “Day of Prey” on his behalf. He knows how and what to do. Is only because he can’t take all de ah-cue-say-shun of irregularities at de Poles dat was in fear-foh of his party, Vote tampering, fraud at de Poles, witnesses claiming dey “van’t recall” others are “only human.

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.