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Coconut healing oil

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Ah grow up pon ah lot ah bush medicine. Ah drink from de sweet smelling and pleasant tasting mint and Say-nah-man to de bitter Seed-under-leaf; if ever dey’s ah miracle cleanser foh skin rash, is Bli-dog bush, so it bitter, so it smell bad. Ah remember one ah my kids did pick up ah skin rash, heats all over de body, from head to toe; and my mother-in-law, ah bush specialist, took ah stroll out in de garden, brought back ah hand full ah Bli-dog, dissolve it in ah basin ah warm water; she sponge-off de baby, oh! de smell was awe-full, but in 48 hours, de rash disappeared.{{more}}
 
But nobody pay attend-shun to Bush anymore, except foh de Rastas who not only drinking Bush, but bottling it, and selling it under de galleries and along de side-walks. Doctors got ah nice way dey does discourage yuh when yuh mention dat yuh drinking Bush. Dey would tell yuh most med-sin come from bush, but yuh got to know what quantities and strength to use; yuh might over-dose yuh-self. Mind yuh dat is perfectly correct; if yuh have to tek any kind ah bush, go gently, dilute it. We don’t say Bush Medicine any more, we add so-fisty-care-shun to de name and calling it Folklore Medicine. Ah don’t know how deep Dr Fraser is into his Bush oops, Folklore Medicine; ah know foh sure he does beat his Black Fish Oil bad; ah remember ah was wuking in Bagga and his mother gave me ah plastic container full ah stewed Black Fish to carry foh him, it smell so nice, and ah know how he greedy wid his Black Fish, he was not going to give me any. Ah couldn’t resist eating out some on de way.
 
Anyhow de same Dr Fraser sent me an e-mail wid ah “U-tube” dis week, one fantastic story about Coconut Oil again! It is ah feature about ah man who was getting “All-time-has disease,” dat’s when yuh begin to lose yuh marbles, forgetting things and not aware. Lie-Za was saying, dat is why she forgive de Pry-minister when he didn’t remember ah ting bout meeting de Aims and Object-teefs man. Ah tell she dat is not All-time-has, dat is Par-Lie-ah-men-try skills. Where was I? Ah forget what ah was writing bout, me All-timers acting up. Oh yes, de gentleman’s wife, Dr Newport, who is ah Medical Specialist, noticed his strange behave-yah and had his All-time has conditions confirmed. She began learning everything bout her husband’s disease. In de VDO she said dat dis dreaded dis-ease is like Die-or-be-tease of de brain, way insulin problems prevent brain cells from accepting glucose, the primary fuel.
 
Without it, de cells eventually die and yuh tun stupidy. But hear dis, dey’s an alternative fuel called “Keytones,” which de cells easily accept and it wuks like magic. And would yuh believe dat in her research, she discovered dat dis Keytone is found in Coconut “Healing” Oil. Immediately she put her husband on ah rigid Coconut “Healing” Oil diet, and within weeks, things began to turn around foh her beloved husband. Within months he had shown remarkable progress. Well ah didn’t wait till de VDO finish, ah went under Y De Lima to buy ah bottle ah Coconut “Healing” Oil and after two doses, ah begin to remember ah lot ah tings dat ah did forget. Ah remember how Sir Vin-sin did say after 90 days in office, if dey in de ULP didn’t introduce integrity legislation, he was quitting; he still dey wid de rest, high and dry lucratively cheering ah set ah Boards. So ah sending Sir Vin-sin ah pint ah Coconut “Healing” Oil, dah go clear up his memory. Ah whole bottle ah Coconut “Healing” Oil foh Dr. Rude-he “Airport” Mat-I-S, he too young to get All-time-has, but he need to remember he did say very early dat “we have de money to build de Airport!” And three quarter bottle ah Coconut “Healing” Oil foh Julian; he did say too how:
 
“ Mr Speaker de Airport will not cause dis country one Red scent!” De latest is dat all airport departure tax will be directed straight to de Argyle Airport. Lie-Za say don’t leave out Sir James, send him ah ah bottle, just to remind him how he was misled by de US FDA and de scandal-us findings dat Coconut Oil full ah Cholesterol. De truth is Coconut has de good (HLD) Cholesterol. Den ah must send de Pry-Minister two bottles ah Coconut Healing Oil, dat will help him remember way and when he met de Aims and Object-teefs man. Ah ask her why two bottles, she said, two bottles will remind him way to find de bathroom whenever he wake up at nights; he not suppose to go down-stairs. All joke aside, Coconut is ah powerful agent. Coconut Milk is referred to as de Miracle Liquid. It is excellent foh de Pass-straight Hell’t, and contains numerous minerals, Vitamins B,C and E, and natural aunty-buy-ah-tick properties dat helps to kill viruses. And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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