He brokes! Santa brokes!

Every time ah listen to folks meking dey calculations bout de future, how long dey plan to live, and all what dey plan to do during dat time, using as dey base, de 99 years dey father lived, plus de 101 years his grand-father before lived, ah does smile and say mankind brave, dem never hear bout Sir D.

Unlike Santa Claws, who we know foh sure, coming once ah year Broke or not, Sir D does turn up unannounced, he love to spring ah surprise and ah shock; he just appears and tek who and what he wants and go. He not racist eh, in fact he luv all Races, no picking and choosing.{{more}}

Talk bout greedy, he will pass thru ah village and walk way wid thousands. One thing, he not scornful or prejudice, he scrapes up everything in his path from ah-flu-rent to vague-rent. Ah believe de only people hey who does welcome Sir D is Ever Ready, New Heaven and Bailey, and is only because ah de business why dey does put on ah smile when Sir D pass thru.

Is two weeks now Sir D dey in SVG wouldn’t leave, sum-ting hey dah sweetening him. Lie-Za thinks is de E-con-ah-mek sit-yuh-hear-shun wid de four crooked oops, straight years ah de-fist-hit budget, dat he know will have people begging him to tek dem.

During de last couple ah weeks, Sir D like he was picking ah Dream Team, but he will not leave. He pick Stilly de Club Manager, nuff said bout Stilly last week.

He pick Kaisonian Toiler, let us not forget, dat Toiler is de only Vincy Kaisonian dat sang in Sparrow Tent in T’n’T, who opened de show every night ah de season wid his “Ah go mek ah Jail foh dem!” Ah hope Toiler lef dat Jail foh we to put dis bunch ah crooks into. Not satisfied wid ah manager and an entertainer, Sir D tek de very generous and love-able, Stuart “Rudy” Louie, de show promoter. Still not satisfied, he tek de nicest ah de Francis brothers, Elroy, ah master builder/engineer.

Former politician Allan Cruickshank could sit easy now, dey’s nobody who could ah do ah Cruickshank’s ‘imitation in speech’ like Elroy. When yuh ask Elroy how he does it so well, he uses to say: “Just imagine yuh got ah hot piece ah dasheen in yuh mouth.” We will miss yuh Elroy! Ah don’t think dat we in SVG does give honour way honour is really due. Our we-men never get recognition, de few among dem would be either pull-it-tek-all fare-foh-hits or dem wid most academic qualification, still not enough ah de we-men getting credit. Do we hear bout de contribution ah Mrs Nicholls wid de shop in Middle Street, Mrs Ferdie made it last week, dat’s because she did de unbelieveable, defying an armed robber.

Leila Graves started to wuk at age thirteen, de Murphy sisters Bonadie and Veira at Singer. Ah forget dem is NDP. What about Edna Had-her-way de last ah de legendary Hadaway sisters, nah bother to honour her now, she was buried last Sat-dey. She and her sisters, poor Vermont, country girls, started from scratch, tailoring making shirts, pants and jackets, no GCE, CXC or whatever. At one stage dey had earned/owned de most business properties along Middle Street. Added to dat, dey owned apartments in Villa and Prospect. Ah loved wuking foh Edna Hadaway; whenever she call me to wuk, ah would tell my wife to light de stove and put on de pot, ah going wuk foh Miss Had-her-way. Her money was sure, and she never bid down yuh fees.

Sir D walked wid her last week. And to bless it all, Sir D took one ah de most worthy among us, Bishop Woodroffe.

When de Christian Council had teeth and backbone wid men like R.C. Bishop Dickson, Archbishop Woodroffe, Brigadier Leopold of de Salvation Army and Rev Crichton, (dey have all gone to Heaven) ah was blessed to sit on de Council in de company of plain and straight humility dignified; dat sound like ah pair-ah-ducks. De toughest among dem was Bishop Dickson, and de man wid de greatest command ah de queen’s English was de Chairman, very polished and eloquent, Archbishop Woodroffe, ah “Black Man” who spoke de “Word” wid not only flare and diction but wid authority. May all ah these one-dah-full peole rest in peace and ah hope Sir D will tek his Dream Team and leave us ah while, but ole people say “Death is inevitable!”

RALPH WRITES FOH BOWMAN

Ah had to get Lennox Bowman to send me de words ah his Christmas song dis year, “Santa Brokes.” Ah listen de words carefully and ah suspect dat is either de Pry Minister begged Lennox to use his pen and skills to highlight de bad situation and even soften up de people foh Christmas, OR E Pry Minister himself wrote dat song.

Lie Za say he uses to write de bite-in and hard hitting social commentary kaisoes foh Freedom Fighter.

Check out some ah de lines in Santa Brokes: “ The recession catch up with we, so when yuh see me begging, Gee me ah little something, this Santa not joking.” Who did say de recession wouldn’t touch us, who is now begging from de far East to de near south. Next verse “Ah know yuh (Teachers and Public servants) waiting foh de whole year, for me to bring some Christmas cheer; your expectations are very high… have ah little sympathy.” Last verse: “ Me woman fussing, she stressing me,” we all know who does address his wife as “me woman!” And in de chorus he lets it all out: “Ah done tell everybody, this year (and next year and the year after) ah have no money, ah brokes, Santa Brokes!” And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.