Keep out ah Oscar and Ralph come-mess

Oscar and Ralph are friends from morning.

Is Oscar he-self who reminded Ralph dat dey were born under de same roof, actually de last two Mo-he-can to be born in dat abandoned House on Colonarie Long Stretch.

One year separates dem from being twins, one born black, de uddah born white; de “white one” wants to be white and black at de same time, and de “black one” won’t be white-washed. But dey have ah lot in Commun. {{more}}

Is long time dey “to-gather-now,” so much so dat when Ralph got Em-power, Oscar was among his Courtiers, de good ole Come-red to Come-red legacy. But to be ah Coutier, yuh must be progressive, defend de Em-power on every count when he puts on his Birth-suit and show his nakedness.

Not Oscar, and dat’s why he is found wanting on several counts in de Em-power’s Court; chief of which is “Failure and/or Refusal to defend de umpteen progressive initiative ah de ULP Guv-ah-mint.”

Oscar had it coming when he opened de Farmers eyes to dey Cocoa Rights; dey must not be ah repeat ah de mistakes made when we got into Banana. Cocoa Farmers must be ah part ah de profits.

Nothing wrong wid dat! Lie-Za read way Cocoas man, Hadley say he got 60 thousand Cocoa plants to give out to farmers, she wants Oscar to suggest to de Cocoa Man or So-butt-her to meet wid de Farmers wuking wid Miss Marie Warner in de Hills and, invite dem to diversify dey short crops wid Cocoa.

De benefits are numerous, dey will reforest de hills wid Cocoa trees, dey will be planting ah legal crop, and in five years time dey would be harvesting Cocoa, selling coke sorry, Cocoa beans.

ROW, ROW YUH BOAT AN-EASIER

Ah want to congratulate Pry-minister to be, An-easier Baptiste on de formation of her De-mock-rat-ache Reap-her-blue-can Party. An-easier has dreams of becoming Pry-minister ah SVG one day, and why not. Of course dey’s ah ting called optim-is-him, and dey’s ah ting called Real-is-him. De secret is to keep dem in de balance, none more dan de other. So dat if she is optimistic about becoming Pry-minister, den she must balance dat wid de Reality ah becoming Pry-minister, remembering two words, if and when.

And so, Pry-minister to be An-easier needs to have ah few Converse-hear-shun. Ah notice de operative word these days is “Converse-hear-shun.” Ah Converse-hear-shun to find out way went wrong wid de CSEC Maths and English A. Ah Con-verse-say-shun to solve de Street Vendors problem.

Oscar and Ralph having ah Con-foh-say-shun. Firstly, our dear sister needs to reach Sir James, let him tell her how he became Pry-minister in six years, and after two years, he was kicked out in de wilderness foh ah good twelve years, den he was recalled. She needs to have ah Canvas-say-shun wid Dr Gonsalves, let him tell her how it took him nearly 30 years, before Sir Vincent Beach let him in de back door. And it will be wise to have ah Can-fuss-say-shun wid her former mint-her, Arm-in; hew how Sir James did slip Arm-in thru de back-door and he didn’t last six months.

Now foh any newcomer to win Guv-ah-mint s/he must have ah base, ah Trade Union, head ah some kind ah Youth Movement and so forth. She got none ah dat except her Two-is-ah-hand Church membership wid two dozen members. Now foh An-easier to win Guv-ah-mint she will have to get at least 40 percent ah de voting population, people who does vote, and those votes will obviously have to come from de ULP and de NDP camp.

First she will have to tell voters what is so unique or different about her party, except de name of course, dat 20 percent ah ULP supporters who have been “keeping de Come-red dey” foh de last 12 years will want to cut down dey breadfruit tree, and go meet her; similarly why would another 20 percent ah de NDP supporters, who dey waiting foh twelve years on de breadline to “put Arm-in dey”to get dey share ah de pie, be will willing give up all ah dat and follow her.

Lie-Za who was An-easier fan till she cuss off Arm-in, say she still add-mire her and want her to give it her best shot, but warns dat just like how Shakespeare did say “All de world’s ah stage;” same way “All de Politics is ah stage”: First de infant learn to roll over, she sit-up, next she hold-on to de crib and stand-up, den she gradually move around in de crib, still holding-on, but strengthening de legs, before she could let go both hands,. Den voila! baby could walk and even run.

Lie-Za is convinced dat An-easier still in de pull-it-tek-ill crib, and her add-vice to her is to strengthen dem pull-it-tek-ill legs before lining up foh any pull-it-tek-ill run. She must Look before she leap!

And wid dat, is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.