De lickle boy dah cry wolf

Ah was telling Lie-Za it would be irresponsible of me to dis-believe de PM’s claims dat Drug- men giving Ass-sauce-in Con-Tract to try ah-sauce-an-ate him.

She told me to swallow dat wid ah pinch ah salt, and nah mek it De-Tract me, she heard dat story already, and more dan once. What shocked me is dat she was able to pull from ah story she read. Bout ah lickle shepherd boy whose daddy did put him to watch de sheep, he tell de lickle boy dat any predator, wolf, tiger or Lie-on he see, just shout to de top ah his voice.{{more}} Before de father tun he back de lickle wretch shout out “Wolf! Wolf!” He was so loud he Ah-Tract de whole village who ran to his rescue, only to find out he was Lie-in. Every day dat unreasonable kid would arouse de village wid his false alarm: “Wolf! Wolf”! and dey would run to his rescue only to be fooled one more time. One day ah pack ah Wolf turned up in truth, he didn’t forget to hollow “Wolf! Wolf”! He screamed till he lost his voice, but every-body had grown tired of his “false all-arm”, dey thought he was pulling one ah his prank. De wolves ate every one ah his father sheep. Ah Pretended ah never heard de story, and asked her way on earth she Abs-Tract dat funny tale from? Wid ah air ah surprise, she looked at me and said: “How come yuh say yuh know so much bout Aesop Fables and yuh ain’t know dis on”? But she goes on to say de PM making nuff “ Tracts” foh himself. And she is wondering if all dis Ass-asign’s Con-Tract talk is not to Dis-Tract attention from some hot issues. How she Ex-Tract dat he uncomfortable wid de negative vibes coming from de “character ah-saucy-nation” Court Cases dah Vee-knee try to bring ‘gainst him and his colleagues, dah de mad-is-straight mek dem Re-Tract.

DE E-CON-AH-ME CON-TRACT TOO

But on ah more serious note she asked me what ah thought ah de budget, wha was de main Awe-Tract-shun. Ah told her ah was pleased wid the level ah maturity exchanged among members ah both sides ah Par-liar-mint. One scents ah desperate effort made by de inexperienced debutants, to impress and give ah good account of dem-selves. Ah told her also, dat every year ah does listen de budget presentation wid both ears, so ah could hear what is in and what is left out. De “Ear on de Left” is to hear what de PM say; and ah use me “Ear on de Right” and listen to Arm-in to hear what de PM deliberately didn’t say. Is lots ah padding and Left outs dis year. Just when de “ Ear on de Left” was telling me how de PM humbling up himself, he no longer pushing like ah Tract-or, in fact he kind ah Re-Tract when he say he studied both NDP and Green Party Man-he-fete-so and made some Ex-Tract-Shun from dem, and dat he presented ah genuine account of de country’s financial status. But de “Ear on de Right” keep banging “Dis-Tract-Shun! Dis-Tract-Shun”! dat it hearing ah completely different story. Ah almost went deaf when Arm-in asked bout de omission from de budget ah de outstanding debts owed by de various statutory bodies amounting to millions. Secondly, where Guv-ah-mint hoping to raise 105 million dollars from other receipts (grants etc) but foh de last ten years de average receipts was two point five million, talking bout pad, dat’s unsanitary sorry, insanity. “No way”, she said, “dat’s what all de talk bout Con-Tract to assess-an-ate is about, to Dis-Tract what dey Sub-Tract from de Budget”. When ah asked her what was her thoughts on de budget, she said to me: “ Have you noticed dat de nine hundred million budgeted last year is reduced to seven hundred million dis year”? I replied in de affirmative. “Well” she said, “ Even de E-Con-ah-me Con-Tract”! In closing ley me just warn all not to tek Lie-Za too seriously wid de way she trivia-lies de statement by de PM dat Drug-men gunning foh him. When he practice law he defended many ah”drug men”, now he is PM. He has been bold and quite vocal in his efforts to fight Drugs and Crime in dis country. Dis is like putting yuh life on de line. Unless we know otherwise, which we don’t, let us treat de PM’s statement as genuine and serious, No Dis-Tract-Shun! And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.