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Only ten more days to go

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Is unfortunate dat violence is taking over de calm-pain because ah beginning to enjoy de Ads, de slogans and de songs. Both side have been able to twist quotations and mek punch-line foh party songs, Rasum Shallow’s “Ah way we go do? Vote Dem Out!” is out front, followed by Margaret London’s “Ah don’t wash ever week”! Is de most Kaiso at election ah ever heard, ‘Keep de Fire Burning’ by Sonny Banks, ‘Alfie’ and Who Rape’ by Papa I-stan, ‘We voting de Key’ to name ah few. One ah de ULP slogans is “Own de Calm-pain” but like dey pass ah decree to destroy dat NDP’s poster dat says :“Enough! No More”. Lots ah TV Ads as well. After de Prime Minister chastise Matthew Thomas and Bassy Alexander: “Nasty Dutty NDP Dog”!{{more}} De latest ULP Ad on TV has ah lady and ah Dog dat looks like ah sheep, all dressed-up in ah NDP T-short, what’s eye-run-ache is, she saying: “We were treated like Dogs”! And we are never short ah OECS guest speakers, last time around we had Kenny and Toney; dis year ULP/Guv-ah-mint Lawyer Astofan from Dah-Monica is wid us; Lie-Za puts it nicely, she say when come to pamper, de Prime Minister doesn’t need is As-to-smell, As-to-lick, As-to-wipe and now our guest As-to fan!

SIS-ILL AGAIN

Our experts on election poles are a bit late dis time. First off de block is my former colleague at Project Promotions PP, Sis-ill Ryan. Ah didn’t even know dat PP still existed. But Sis-ill is becoming quite ah predictable expert in his own right in dis field. In 2005, Sis-ill had Julian beating Armin, dispite all de galvanize, boards and fridges, he didn’t. In 2009, Sis-ill had de Yes votes ahead in de Riff-around-dem, despite de four million calm-pain funs, $200. 00 per school child, de results was devastating, ah massacre. Like me, Sis-ill seems to have ah form-yu-law dah shows how not to forecast correct election results. Lie-Za does mek fun ah me and Sis-ill, she say if yuh does gamble at elections, just check out who de two ah we say go win, and den bet yuh money on de opposite. Dis time around Sis-ill has the ruling party out front in all three Kingstown seats. Lie-Za say she will bet dat if yuh send Sis-ill to do ah pole in de Grenadines, way an NDP win is ah foregone conclusion, he will have de ULP ahead by ten percent. All yuh could laugh, but suppose Sis-ill find ah new form-yo-law?

LIE-ZA QUALIFY FOH REHAB MONEY

Lie Za is at it again, she wouldn’t ease up on de Prime Minister. She wants me to tell him dat in August she gave him “His Last 100 Days” in office, de time expires today Friday December 3; so he is doing overtime “His Last 10 Days in Office”! She is serious as she explained to me dat she keep seeing him in her dreams every night. He has his brief-case packed, eyes swollen and tears running down his face. He pacing de floor from back door to front door, like someone wishing to go downstairs foh one final reassuring kiss. Ah think Lie-Za want to hook me up wid Sue, ah done warn she dat my name is not Dug-he De fraid-us, de PM second cuss-ins. Ah think She vex dat lumber and galvanize sharing out to every Tom, Dick ‘n Harry in Red and she can’t get. Tomas is ah God sent she say, it came just in time to coincide wid ah shipment ah galvanize and lumber foh HLDC, worth four million dollars, plus Re-hab money foh Banana Farmers. She add-myths dat she and Lie-Owe on ah Re-hab program, and she should qualify foh assistance. She making noise dat she is ULP, yet she got ah set ah photos ah ULP projects dat stick in gear foh years: De stay-dumb site at Die-man, Julian’s Mas tent at Arnos Vale and de Sion Hill pan yard. Dat girl not easy, she went all up to Rose Hall to snap de Cross Country Road, and den showing me ah picture of ah Paw Paw tree dat grow-up since wuk stop on de construction site at de Customs.

DANIEL’S PRAYER

Out ah evil cometh good, de Prime Minister got rid ah two NDP opponents before ah vote cast, before registration, Din-key Bawl-come and Margaret London. But alas! Out of no-way, Mr John’s son, ah Teacher/Educator wid ah Master’s Degree, mature, experienced and focused, wid ah great deal to offer in Education, picked up five stones and decided to mek ah go at de giant. Mr John’s son would be my choice foh de best among all de candidates on both side. Ah was asking Lie-Za what are Mr John’s son chances against de giant. She reminded me dat de last miracle in elections hey in SVG, was when Stinson Campbell, de lickle David defeated Sir Ruddy Baynes, ah Goliath in his day. Den she say he name Ken and he Ken do it! Den ah ask her if she notice how Scriptural de PM has become lately on stage. She say ah must tell him to read Daniel Chapter 2 foh Daniel’s prayer: “ Wisdom and Power is de Lord’s, He gives wisdom to de wise and knowledge to de endearing; He changes times and seasons; and most importantly, is He who puts leaders in office and He removes dem!” So dat when de Lord says “yuh time is up”; no violence, no galvanize, no lumber, no bribe, no forging of names at registration, no nuttin could change dat! Please, Let us have ah peaceful Elections And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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