Met-dis-is-him 250 years but…

When de Met-dis community meets dis month to celebrate 250 years in these parts, dey will have ah lot to think about, in particular how dey plan to stop de Ex-ah-dust of its members; ah don’t want to put bad mouth pon dem, but at de rate dey been losing members, it’s only ah matter ah time before dey will have another building to rent or lease to de Pentecostals or Seventh Day Adventist (SDA), maybe Mother Choose-hand, Ah-knees-ah might soon need ah bigger place in town to worship.{{more}}

Ah could remember writing about dis same topic some years ago. De figures were startling. De major Churches were falling away and de lickle way-side Churches were bursting at de seams. De Adventists in particular were, and still dey pon ah “tek-all” membership drive, when dey pitch dah big tent, is weeks/months ah night meetings and dey not moving before dey Baptize and enroll hundreds ah new members, Lie-Za say de SDA Pastors uses to get $20.00 foh ever person dey Baptize, ah don’t know way she get she info from, but she say since VAT de Pastors mek noise and de fees gone up to $ 50.00 ah person, she waiting to see way dey will do when de real Soul-shall-is-him start. But say way yuh like, dem SDA peole is real fishers-of-men, dey keep throwing dey nets until no more fish left pon de bank, dem fishermen in trouble if Pastors Ah-got-stuck and Bar-teas turn up Monday foh Fisherman’s Day competition. In 1980 de SDA population was 4, 311, in de last 2001 census de membership was doubled, 10, 856. And if yuh think dat huge wait till yuh see de figures foh de Pentecostals.

In 1980 dey were 3,946 and in 2001 it was 18,713 double-doubled, (quadrupled) Ah know foh sure de Pentecostal Pastors don’t charge to dip-yoh, because de Rev. Pastor, Dr Melch Pope didn’t charge me when he duck me under. Ah hope dat Pastor Noel Clarke any get no bright I-dare to go charging people. What is significant is dat ah lot ah these people who getting Baptize are from de Anglican, Met-dis and Cat-lix. Fancy Bishop Friday and Dean Mac-in-touch, two ah Bequia best swimmers fraid to go in de sea and Baptize de members. But ley me stop stray and go back to de membership problems. Spiritual Baptists was 5,814 in 1980 and in 2001 dey peaked at 10, 583 (doubled too). My helper is ah Spiritual Baptist, ah righteous one, she just came off her knees and got promoted to Mother Prophet, I am amazed at some ah de current issues dat she talks about. Ah don’t think de Comrad would want to see her or Arch-Bishop John.

My mistake, is Julie-Ann is Arch-bishop John’s friend. Ah straying again. Do yuh know dat de Anglican community dropped from 40, 682 in 1980 to 18,864 in 2001; Cat-lix from11, 329 in 1980 to 7,938 in 2001 and Met-dis who after 250 years could only account foh eleven percent ah de population back in 2001. Dey fell from 20,454 in 1980 to 11,540 in 2001. Rev Job was on TV saying that presently, in 2010 dey have on roll four thousand Met-dis members. But what is very interesting in all these Stat-is-stick, is dat de fastest growing Religion is de people wid no Religion; 1,581 in 1980 and in 2001 it was 9,386. Dat’s correct, over nine thousand persons who were bold or brave enough to tell de census officers dat dey belong to no Church! Believe it or not, is ah lot ah people who, when dey see way going on in de churches, prefer to stop home, read dey Bible and praise dey God. But it also means dat dey’s nine thousand fishes out dey to be caught. Seven Days, tek note! So what can de Met-dis do.

Ah would recommend dey go back and figure wha de Founder Charles Wesley would ah say and do, why he broke loose from de Anglicans. Foh sure he would ah been in de water Baptizing his converts, and he would ah nice up God’s House like dem Pentecostals, air-conditioned wid wall to wall carpets, no tuff wooden benches, but chairs wid soft cushions, big screen TV. And he would ah gone Pentecostal. Ah not being personal, but generally, ah find some Church leaders are too wrapped-up wid-in demselves, nice clothes, nice cars, nice homes, T-bone and chops, like lickle palaces, nothing wrong wid dat, but what about de Lord’s Temple, dah need nice-in up too, nice-in up first. What ever dem Met-dis do, dey better swallow pride and obey Christ’s instructions to de letter.

AH PUP-PET SHOW

Ah pass by de bus stop by Murray Road way de fellar wanted to open ah Bar after dark, and it was raining cats and dogs. Man it pain me heart to see all dem school children, infants and secondary students standing in de pouring raining, no way to shelter. Bro Bug-in when yuh going deliver stuff to yuh constituents, drop off ah few sheets ah galvanize and two post, ley dey mek ah shed to cover de lickle ones please. In de meantime de PM and his colleagues in ALBA like dey having ah Pup-Pet Show. Mr Big Bird, Shove-his is confused. He can’t overs Barney building an International Airport and lose big time in ah Riff-around-dem, he wit-holding all moneys till Barney win de election. But he calling on de Queen to tell her, dat de people refuse to “Vote Yes” foh Barney to move de country forward in So-hell-is-him, so she must free she-self of us.

And Barney will not be silent, he announced dat de people of de Caribbean including we in SVG fully N-Dos So-shall-is-him as de way to fight Colonial-is-him and Imperial-is-him, Doctor Ferdinand spoke foh de silent ones on dat. Big denial on “day one”, SVG was not seeking ah seat in de UN Security Council, but on “day two” we looking foh support from Carry-Come, we seeking ah seat on de same UN Security Council, on “three” we shelve our application till 2020, dat might be perfect vision, but doesn’t it also look like how dem characters does behave in ah Pup-Pet Show! Lie-Za beg me to say dat de most deafening sound foh ah long time is de silence after Dr Tim Providence, NCB’s former Chairman re-sign! Nuff Kudos foh Tim, and wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.