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Do yuh still beat yuh wife… Yes or no?

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PR Campbell is right, is only ah Law-yah dat could overs de pramble and de different sex-shun and sub-sex-shun ah de constitution. May I add, only ah Law-yah will overs how to draw down four million dollars from de Treasury to finance de Vote Yes calm-pain. Ah suppose dat since de party in power not suppose to use Treasury Funs to finance dey own pull-it-tek-all party calm-pain, yuh got to be ah Law-yah to overs ah way out ah dat.{{more}} First yuh form ah committee made up ah all ULP party members and supporters and since yuh can’t call it ULP, yuh name it: “YUM, Yes U Must” committee. In other words de ole adage “ah Rose by any other name is ah Rose” no longer stands, constitutionally dat is. Nex yuh have to find ah base from which to disburse and disperse de Goodies, so yuh de-clear de former Ju-C compound “de YUM site”. Lie-Za say she like how de building look now, refurbished and painted in de national colours, how yuh will think Ju-C is now de national drink.

When de bills start ah run up, somebody asked way dey getting money to finance dis massive YUM calm-pain, so de Minister ah Finance, who by de way is de Prime Minister, smartly passed ah Special War-runt foh four million dollars foh de YUM committee to conduct de “Yes Vote” calm-pain. Get dis one right, de Prime Minister / Minister ah Finance is empowered to pass Special War-runts. De Director ah Add-it and de Accountant General are fully aware ah dat, dem ain’t got no time to answer Arm-in wid his “spanner in de wheel” questions, dey prefer to follow pro-tek-all, do like Pie-lot, dem wash dey hands. Indeed it is completely out ah dey hands, de four million dollars gone to de Bank to meet de YUM committee who will now play “YUM-me YUM-me wid tax-pay-as Money” till its accountability time. Yuh wanna bet when it is all over, dey will be an enquiry?

What ah find interesting is dat de country is divided down de middle in constitutional debate, and one ah de issues is de power ah de Prime Minister. We have been hearing how so much ah de Prime Minister’s Power has been cut, yet here in de midst ah de debate, yuh have de current Prime Minister in his capacity as Minister ah Finance, resorting to his Powers, to pass ah Special War-runt to de tune ah four million dollars to finance his side ah de debate. Nah fool yuh-self de Vote Yes calm-pain looks well organized as indeed it must, wid four million dollars expect nothing less. Twenty thousand people at de Rabacca Rally two weeks ago, dat’s de PM’s guesstimate, so if ah lie ah lie after him, he did say he does lie sometimes. Ah wonder what is his guesstimate of last week’s crowd at Victoria Park, too few to count. Anyhow ah hear de best is yet to come, far-reign artiste and ting, Tea-shirt and nuff goodies, YUM Committee financing de In-dip-and dance Kaiso Competition, de topic is “Vote Yes”. YUM Employing 300 Yes workers to do house-to-house calm-paim, not to explain de constitution or encouage people to come out and Vote, dey wuk is to tell de people to vote foh de ruling party side “YES”. What ah world, Ole people say when dog ha money he eat cheese. What is bothering is why all ah dis spending just so dat PR and Ralph to show Arm-In and Sir James who run tings, is wha next if and when de people choose to reject de constitution. Ah bet dey’ll do it like President Shove-his did.

Lie-Za say de more she thinks about her choice de more worried she gets. If she vote “Yes” dey are things in dey dat she disapproves and would like to say “No” to, and if she vote “No” she will be rejecting “Yes” things she approves. Is like de Lawyer who was trying to tie up de witness, asking him foh ah straight Yes or No answer. When de witness said is not every question yuh would want to answer wid ah brief Yes or No, de Lawyer invited him to pose any question to him and he will show de witness he will answer Yes or No. De witness realized he could tie-uo de Lawyer, looked at de Judge for de O.K to ask his question. “Go ahead” de Judge said, “Counsel is inviting yuh to pose your question for ah Yes or No answer”. De witness who uses to stutter, didn’t wait, same time he shouted across de floor: “ M..M..Mr Counsel, yu..yu..yuh does Sti..Sti..STILL be…be..beat yuh wife wid de cutl..cutl cutl..ass”? And dey STILL want me to vote Yes or No. Wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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