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Pull-it-tek-all ah-dull-assent

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Ah remember when ah turned thirteen ah started to act up wid some strange de-link-went behave-yah, Granny never bother wid me much, she told me Puberty got me playing man; den she explained dat ah was moving up from ah Juvenile to Ah-dull-essence stage ah life, she encouraged me to keep searching , she hope ah soon find me identity, ah give up looking long time. Den she gave me ah book to read on “Ah-dull-essence”. Dat helped prepare me foh de physical and mental changes every step ah de way.{{more}} According to de book ah could ah expect to have sudden change ah moods and could be confused about “What’s right and What’s wrong”, de experts got ah term foh dat “Storm and Stress”! It stated too dat if knowing dis Right from Wrong ting ain’t dey from early o-clock in de juvenile stage ah life, when Ah-dull-essence step in, one could have problems making beneficial decisions and at times “allow impulses to control decisions”; lots ah dat teking place today especially de set ah violence among our youths. Yuh know how ah great-full to Granny foh dat book. It helped me to handle lickle tings dat does mek big people get tabanka; like when Trevor came from Trinny-dad foh vacation, he met me and my puppy love, Rosie tight like Jack and Jill, he gave she some Trinny sweet-talk, by de next day she was beating up pon me, den mek me to know, we finish. Broken hearted, ah went to de pillar, Granny to hear her explanation, she told me not to worry, ah not alone, Rosie going thru Ah-dull-essence too. Ah still wonder if Granny had dat one right.

Even though ah come man ah does still behave like Ah-dull-essence, but den ah don’t feel embarrassed because ah not alone, some ah me best friend dem is Ah-dull-essence and some ain’t reach date stage ah life yet, dey still behaving like Juvenile. No name no warrant.

Is all kind Ah-dull-essence, mainly adults behaving like lickle children, dey won’t, or cant grow up. Starting wid Physical and Mental Ah-do-less-sense, Police using excessive force on de youthmen dem, supposedly smart intelligent people doing sick tings. Religious Ah-dull-essence, ley we leave dem Pastahs out dis time. Den we got Material Ah-dull-essence dat is dem greedy people, like lickle pickney every new toy dey see, dey want it. And dey’s Pull-it-tek-all Ah-dull-essence; meking decisions on impulses; harassing Ah-doll-ah-cent girls all over de place; dey leave no stone unturned getting even wid those who dare to oppose. Dey become experts over-night in every field.

Talking bout Ah-dull-essence, Lie-Za was saying we couldn’t ask foh ah more brilliant scholar dan our Prime Minister, bright man, but she asking what would account foh de numerous trips de PM meking all over begging foh Dollars for de Airport. Ah tell she dat is Pull-it-tek-all Ah-dollar-cents. And den ah told her if she notice since he got invitation to join de ALBA club, how lately he beating up pon Carry-Come, behaving like how Rosie did when she met Trevor. Carry-Come is ah Talk Shop, ah waste ah time, he say; and now dat de problem surface wid immigration in Bo-bathe-us, he ready to quit Carry-Come. Dat one is Pull-it-tek-all Ah-dull-asssent.

NONE BETTER DAN NONE

Dey’s ah song “Anyting yuh can do I can do better” dat must have been an inspiration to our members ah Par-liar-mint. Ah remember de den Opposition calling on de NDP Attorney General, PR to resign because ah his involvement wid Nah-Know Bank, he got up in Par-liar-mint defended his name and said “I will not resign”! Within months he was replaced by Car-Lie who had to defend his name before he too resigned.

Ah remember too when de Opposition did ask Sir James ah hot question in de House, he told dem he don’t have to answer, and if he answer, he ain’t bound to tell de truth. We all felt dat Sir James had gone too far. But den de present PM showed dat he intended to go further dan Sir James when he told de House dat he may lie sometimes, but not all de time. And den he better dem all last week when he told de House dat he refuse to answer Eustace’s question on de details of expenditure foh de recent trip to Rome, Iran, Portugal etc. Is better de PM did call foh de Fifth, his Right to Silence, because de kind ah money dat was spent and de explanation behind it is plain and simple Pull-it-tek-all Add-or-less-cent! And wid dat ah taking My Ah-dull-ass-scent and ah gone again!

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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