Revisiting Pan Against Crime

Ah forgot to mention last week dat while in T’n’T ah stayed at Laventille, next to de Bad John and dem. My relatives live two houses above one ah Abbu Back-her girlfriend or wives. Ah didn’t get to see him, in fact he didn’t visit while ah was dey, guess somebody heard me practising-up on my trumpet and told him ah Horn-ah-man was in town so he kept scarce. Interestingly, Laventille is de home base foh ah lot ah Steel Bands, big and small, led by de greatest of dem all, Desperados.{{more}} At de bottom ah de hill way ah lived is ah big band dat won de Championship last year and came in 4th dis year. But what is eye-run-ache (worth crying foh) is dat while dey got so many Pan sides in Laventille, dat area is known foh de high rate ah crime, de Police dem live up dey all dey! Not good news foh us here in SVG way de slogan is “Pan against Crime”. Dah’s ah brilliant I-dare coming from de ULP, so is de Die-ah-nah-stick Centre expect dat it building under de La Soufirere ah sleeping Volcano; another good I-dare is de Education Rev-all-yuh-shun, meking sure every child gets into ah Secondary School. But is interesting to hear Education Officials whispering dat de Education Rev-ah-loose-han began at de middle and not de beginning. Is de same way local students of Music say dat “Pan against Crime” start at de ending. Dey all agree dat Pan is good foh de children’s development, and dat learning to play Pan is ah significant ingredient in ah overall program to fight Crime, but bit is no more dan ah raisin in de Pan-cake. De hurry-hurry crash program, like ah Pan-ah-key-yah, teaching de kids to play two tunes, den mek dem appear at ah grand “Pan against Crime Launch,” is ah poor-us plaster on ah big sore! share pull-it-to-kill gay-mix.

How come we never hear about “Sports against Crime?” Look at de thousands ah students who attended de Intersec school Sports ah couple week ago at de Arnos Vale White Elephant Playing Field. Richmond Hill and Victoria Park turning White Elephants too. When last we had ah national Basketball Championship? How about “Scout-in and Guide-in against Crime?” Thanks to de Girl Guides Association dey’s now ah thirty- member strong Guides Group at de troubled Intermediate High, hats off to dey Guides Mistress, Crystal Robertson. And some 200 Guides were on Easter Camp, but did we hear any mention about “Guide-in Against Crime? Never! Dey’s no room foh pull-it-tek-in Guide-in. Wha bout “Sunday School against Crime”, when Arm-in tried to introduce ah Bill called de Redemption Charter, he didn’t even get to read it out. But all unfair games will be played over, and one sweet day dat Redemption Charter will be passed into Law. Mark my word.

Since we got so much faith in de “Pan against Crime”, how come dey’s no Steel Band at Intermediate High, Emmanuel High or Carapan Secondary, three schools noted foh high incidences ah fighting and misbehaving, note how carefully ah refuse to associate d’s kids behave-yah as Criminal. De experts tell us dat Crime stems from ah basic Need, de best cure foh basic Needs is Wuk! when dey’s No Wuk dey’ll be plenty ah Needs: Money, Food, Clothes and Shelter. Yes we should teach dem kids to play Pan an hope foh de best, but if and when dem Needs show up and dey can’t be met, my sincere hope is dat “Pan against Crime” will help to contain dem.

FUN NEX ELECT-SHUN

Ah don’t know way Lie-Za got it from, but she say dat Chief Mad-is-straight Donald Browne is de new resident British High Commissioner. She vex how whenever ah new Englishman High Commissioners come is big Fan-fear, so why we not giving our own local boy his honour. Knowing High Commissioner Browne well, he’s too humble ah human being to be bothered. Ah dare not tell Lie-Za dat de High Commissioner is my cousin, she will want me to get ah British Passport foh her.

Anyhow she done put on her elect-shun shoes and ready foh ah General Elect-shun any time. She loves Sir James and brush aside any ole talk bout him re-tyre-in. Sir James would be like Mr Mike on his bicycle wid two soft tyres, Frank and John-ah-torn; he couldn’t be serious riding ah Bike wid soft tyre, wid all dem pot holes in de road.

Man she mad vex wid Ken John foh predicting early victory foh de NDP dah scare de P.M. He had plans of calling early elect-shun, wid ah slate ah new faces, but word is out dat he running back all de ole horses in de race, maybe he was inspired by de rest-erect-shun ah Billy Button.

And den she asking if is true dat Bug-in and Sell-boy not running, how de Boss Sorry foh dem so dey will receive ah study grant as in Boss-sorry or is it de Boss-hurry.

Sell-Boy will study Law, one ting he will learn at Law School foh certain, is dat it was Lawless of him to even tink of running ah Jeep over ah Traffic Policeman. Wid all de Phone tap-in, she thinks dat Bug-in got ah good chance wid one ah dem Phone companies hey, he needs only to brush up on his studies in Ethics and get ah wuk in de Phone-ethics unit. And in East Kingstown Arm-in comes up against ah candidate who will run, not pon legs but his Hans! Ah believe dat we will all have lots ah fun come next elect-shun! And wid dat is gone ah gone again.

One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.