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Dial zero foh de merry go round

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Ah very interesting letter was in the Searchlight last week written by CAK about the time wasting experience he had at one ah the Commercial Banks. He was right there in de flesh and could ah cuss them up, but in my case ah was meking ah call to that same Bank after de doors were closed to de public, trying to catch up with someone.

Ah lady with ah sweet, gentle voice comes on, ah recording of course: “Thank you for calling Bap, Bah-dah-bah-dah Bank, if you know your party’s extension dial five; for loans dial four, for dis dial 3; for dat dial 2, for ‘further assistance’ dial (ah didn’t get it). Unfortunately ah got side-track between she nice vice and de drawn out list ah numbers and dey allocations; it didn’t really matter because ah didn’t know de person’s extension.{{more}} However, she did say something ’bout want ‘further assistance’, but ah couldn’t remember if she said, dial zero or dial one foh further assistance. Well, like if she was hearing me think, same time she repeated, still politely, all over again: ” thank you for calling…..Bank, bla bla bla, and for ‘further assistance’ dial zero”, straight away ah punch zero, de phone ring and ring and then she’s back, going thru de motion again including “for further assistance dial zero”, ah figured that by now, not only me, but she might be getting mad and fed up with my ignorance, so quickly ah bang down on Zero, ah lickle harder this time. Seems she was annoyed with me in truth and handed me over to ah next lady with ah stern voice,, she was abrupt : ” You have been forwarded to a voice mail system” (as if ah didn’t know dat), she continues: “however, the person at zero does not subscribe to this service” (so why did all-yo transfer me to zero in de first place) “you have been transferred to an attendant” (not again). “Your session cannot be continued at this time” (what de hec is going on) “one moment please”. My phone went dead, ah can’t believe is hang she hang up pon me. No, she didn’t, my phone card had expired.

Any bank claiming to be de first carib being, ought to be more people oriented, should not treat its customers like row-butts talking to machines. Save us de frustrations and create ah licke wuk foh ah poor girl to answer de customers’ calls. And when you close you doors to the public, if you not taking calls, just let de phone ring and we will get de message that you close; if de ringing of de phone will annoy de wukers, just unplug it. Please don’t send us pressing Zeros to play merry-go-round with answering machine.


Back in 1960 ah was fresh out ah school looking foh ah wuk. Public Works Dept (PWD) was like de employment centre foh all skills and trades and ah landed me-self ah daily paid job. First ah was ah Votes Clerk then ah was ah Stores Clerk delivering Gas. So ah know ah ting-ah-two bout gas in containers and shortages too. PWD was headed by ah Superintendent, first Alick Grant, then Ron Smith followed by Arthur Dalrymple. Nuff Divisions that included: Roads and Bridge Construction, Crushers, Quarries, Buildings not Housing, Electrical Dept, Telephone Exchange, Water Supply, Furniture Shop. There was the Arnos Vale compound with the Stores, Transport and Mechanical repair Shop that was later changed to GESCO. Corruption was de order ah de day, there was even ah big Public Enquiry into PWD during de Joshua error oops era. Some Civil Servants loss dey pension as ah result.

Ah say all ah dat to remind us that this I-dare that de Prime Minister got foh ah NTT (Corporation) that will subsume GESCO and be responsible foh repairs ah Roads, Bridges and Buildings in early January 2007 is nothing new. The only thing that will be new is it will be controlled by ah Minister, my gut feelings is it will not be Bug-In. By de way is Bug-In still ah minister, or is he just waiting to go like Straker? We know foh sure he is no longer responsible foh Electricity (Vinlec), that’s de PM ! He no longer in charge ah Transport (Mini Vans) de PM again! He no longer responsible foh GESCO, Lie-Za asking where was Bug-In last week when Sen. Cummings asked de question in de Par-liar-mint bout GESCO, when de Prime Minister answered and handed GESCO including Party Faithful Robby Fitz Patrick over to de wolves!

Robby as man in-charge ah GESCO was made to look bad. If de truth be told, Robby was only trying to save Guv-ah-mint from embarrassment, even to mek dem look good when he credited fuel to the various Ministries and Corporations totaling large sums. He realized that if he refused credit to places like Police and Health, it could mean K-us not to mention de Pull-it-tek-all back lash that Guv-ah-mint don’t have money to fuel its vehicles. Imaging some departments running up bills at GESCO to de tune of almost two hundred thousand dollars. And foh putting Party before country Robby gets ah kick in de butt. So come January we going back to de ole days ah PWD with everything under one shed and de PM will tek on yet another Port-fool-yoh. One set ah ole people say “hand plat rope and rope tun back and tie hand”! Another set ah ole people say: “de more thing change de more it dey de same” but come January with this new NTT taking over roads GESCO etc, De Man Age say ” We Back to Square One “!


Ardon Graham’s case foh See-day-shun comes up. He goes to courts foh calling on de ULP to change its wicked ways or else blood will run in de streets. Right now not only blood running, but de tears of mothers of young daughters falling like rain,

Sinners beware! Free Ardon! And with that ah gone again.

One Love Bassy!