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Our bananas need ah Allen Stanford


Years ago ah went to study as ah far-reign student and had to explain de game ah Test Cricket to my Canadian hosts. It was then ah realized that an awe-full lot ah playing time was spent in ah Test Match. Ah Test Match could run foh five full days; one side could bat foh de first two days and mek 400 to 500 runs; the other side will tek two more days and mek de same score and the match is practically over, nevertheless on de fifth day, de players will turn up to perform in front of MT pavilions to finish de game where there is no winner, no conclusion, match draw! As spectators we never question de game itself, we blame de pitch or de players and console we-selves that we didn’t lose de match, then we select much de same side and move on to de next five day game.{{more}}

Even way back then ah used to wonder if the effects of ah boring, laid-back, uninspiring, no conclusion game ah Test Cricket did not have ah heavy influence on de psyche ah we people, we life-style, things like we Banana Industry, yes even we politics; or is it Vie-see-Ver-saw?. Every decade we are told that in five years time ah serious decision will be made in de life ah we Banana Industry, then nothing happens and like ah drawn test match, we move on with de same set ah people in charge, same method ah production foh “five mo’ years”! How well we know bout dat in our pull-it-tek-all history, de side with de most batting Stars on paper, dat mek de most promises is sent in to bat, during those five years not much would be happening, we come-plain plenty, but at de end ah de fifth year we call it ah Draw Match, and we move on to de next Test, with de same side “Five Mo’ Days or Years”!

Now the average Tourist out ah curiosity, might want to watch ah bit of our Cricket but s/he is not going to spend five days, or even ah whole day watching ah Cricket Match. He will quicker tek in ah two hours game if it is included in his package. And this is what Allen Stand-full’d 20/20 Vision foh Cricket is all about. He’s ah businessman in Tour-is-him who turns MT hotels and passenger planes into big profit making business. No doubt he thinks he can do ah sum-thing foh our treasured Game ah Cricket that has kept us to-get-her as one Caribbean nation as well as mek ah dollar foh himself. But we will have to decide if we want to tie our cricket into our Tourism, ah serious decision dat! With 20/20 Cricket, the Game is now narrowed down to two hours, matches are played in de night or evening where no official wuk-in-time is lost thru Cricket. De players look more business-like and play with more purpose. Bowlers bowl dey heart out, batters bat dey shoulders off and fielders run all over de ground to stop ah boundary and at de end ah two hours there is ah winner. Spectators are once again on fire foh 20/20 Cricket just as North Americans are foh Baseball, Basketball and their Football. There is money to be made in that two hour time span; de play of de Day earns dat particular player US $10,000, man ah de match gets US $25,000, de team that wins the finals gets ah whacking One million US Dollars!

So it looks like West Indies Cricket has come alive again, fire-wuks in de field and de pavilions and Stand-full’d again. Ah was telling Lie-Za how when ah watch see how one man tek over West Indies Cricket and mek it so X-sight-in to watch, ah look up to de Heavens and say: “Lard mek you can’t gee we ah man with 20/20 Vision like Allen Stand-full’d to run we Banana Industry?” But hear what she say: “Mek you don’t kill two birds with one stone and ask God to send ah man with 20-20 vision like Stand-full’d to run Guv-ah-mint as well”. Ah would love foh Stand-full’d 20/20 Cricket to go on for ah while, so ah hope he will get back his money he invested in de Game and that West Indies Cricket Managers will get de message.


Ah must big-up me new friends at Diamond Village whom ah met only last Tuesday night. Oscar Allen, who is fast becoming de Sage ah Diamond, invited me to speak on fitness to ah group in which he’s involved at Diamond. Dey call themselves de “Building Beautiful Bodies Company. De name sounded ah bit feminine to me but he sent me ah picture of four members, young male body-builders posing. So ah will not be outdone, ah put on de tightest T-shirt ah could find to flex me muscles that ah uses to have, and head off foh country. When ah got to Diamond it was ah different story, except foh young Keve King the only other male besides Oscar to attend, the church hall was full ah females of all age group. Keve is my wife’s former student and she was happy to hear that lickle skinny Keve now has a solid muscular body and is ah potential Mr SVG and even more.

Ah kind ah stumped me way thru de lickle talk. But dey had one-dah-full news foh me. Led by Oscar and de District Staff Nurse Collins, some 18 ah them mainly females, that include young, ole, toddlers, Grannies, some big some small, some fat some lean, but every morning at 4:30 a.m. dey get out ah bed and walk over to Colonarie and back. Kind ah reminds me ah Nine Mornings long ago.

With Die-ah-beat-ease and Hype-attention licking down SVG de women of Die-man are out front in de fight. Ah must add-myth that I was impressed after listening to their side ah de discussion, dey exercising, dey eating properly, veggies and fruits and believe me dey look healthy, ah NV Oscar, no wonder he told me he needed some help!!! Congrats to you Woe-men of Die-man. And with dat, ah gone again!

One Love Bassy