The ugly American Tele-vandalist

The Ugly American is the title of ah book, several books actually, one in particular was written by Bill Lederer, ah bestseller for its slashing expose of American arrogance, incompetence and corruption in South Asia in the 1950’s.

Back in those days the Yankee in Europe and even the Caribbean was seemingly loud, uncultured, corrupt and arrogant, and love to show off his money and might. As ah result people despised The Ugly American. But times and people have changed, we have come to overs that the average American is ah great person. However, The Ugly American today, is one who just happen to be in the Bush, acting like he’s ‘Rum-filled’ meking yuh want to ‘Chain-he’ or wonder when ‘Can-dey-lease-he”!{{more}}

The most recently exposed Ugly American is Pat Robber-son, the tele-Vandalist preacher mask-ah-raiding as ah man filled with the Holy Spirit, fooling people foh years on ah pop-yuh-law TV show ‘The 700 Club’. Pat is famous foh Ugly remarks, he dealt the Women’s Lib movement some severe blows in the 80’s, and he been calling foh assassination of head ah states before. But he is just one of ah few ah those Ugly American Tele-vandalist around. We have had Jeer-me Swaggart and Jim Baked-her, two bard women-nicer; recently the heal-ah-man Benny Hinn was exposed. The Jewish Rabbi Kushner when asked about Benny Hinn’s corrupt, fake healing ministry said, he hoped that there is ah special place in Hell prepared foh people like them.

DE IBERIAN TRIO

Ah don’t know if Robber-son is taking his cue from the Rum’s-filled-Rice anti Chavez-Castro calm-pain. But he is calling foh the Ugly American Gang to assassinate Chavez. We will not remain silent especially when people purporting to be messengers of Christ giving dey blessing to kill elected leaders and destabilize our treasured and peaceful region as ah result.

Chavez as far as we know was not lucky like Bush to have ah Guv-ah-nah brother in Florida to ‘come up how ever yuh can’ with the winning votes. When Chavez’s legality was challenged by his own people, agitated by See-Eye-Ear of course, he called ah referendum and got almost 60 percent ah the votes. Chavez strength emanates from the grass-root, the poor, which so happens to be the majority. Castro is his buddy, they share ah common I-D-allergy and this in the eyes ah The Ugly American Gang is Red as in Come-red!

It is no secret that Chavez and Castro have ah vision, ah Master Plan to turn the Caribbean into ah Socialist Club: Castro in the North with the necessary Scientific, Educational and Industrial capabilities; Chavez in the South with the resources, raw material, Oil! The Oil is what eating the Ugly American. But guess who squeezing he lickle self in the middle, de Come-red! Lie-Za say they got ah lot in common, three Doctors, three Socialists and three ah them came out ah the Iberian Peninsula around Put-yoh-Gal!

ULP SCORING

In the meantime de Come-red delivering and scoring heavy too: Last week he got the Tie-One money to do the Bridge over the Rab-ah-Qwai River. This week he talked bout ah Diagnostic Unit at Georgetown to deal with everything: Heart, Kidney, Eye, Ears etc that Cuba will finance. An excellent project but still in embryonic stage..

Ah will love to see all ah these projects come to fruition, but with all fairness to the ULP, is ah lot ah election-near-in going on. As magnificent as some ah these projects are, some ah them will not be ready to start foh quite ah while. Let us recap; things really quiet out by the Sports Stay-dum. Will Arnos Vale be upgraded for 2007 World Cup; the Library soil was punched three years ago.

AH BULLET PROOF JOCK-STRAP

Ah write last week say what Lie-Za tell me bout the elections, people want me to get involved and mek predictions too. Not yet, leave that to Lie-Za she doing ah good job and she Knows-eee too. This week she asking questions:

Firstly, she want to know if is true Scumbo John who holds ah US citizenship, broke down in tears as he step down reluctantly giving way to Len-he as the South Win-ward Candidate.

Then she want to find out if is true that Julie-Ann done win Arm-In by 362 votes. How 400 new names registered in East Kingstown and nobody never hear nor see them people yet.

She say she have no problem with naming the new Coast Guard boat after Hudson Tannis never mind was his father and uncle Isaac who were sea-faring; but how come they could overlook ah name like King Arthur who had the biggest fleet ah ships in this country.

And she want to know if is true after de Come-red heard Pat Robber-son call foh Chavez Assassination, he phone Commissioner Harry to ask him if he got any bullet proof clothing in store.

Harry then told him he had only the bullet proof vest. Then de Come-red went soft so nobody could hear and said: “Harry boy, do me ah favour, get me ah bullet proof vest and and this one is between me and you, see if yuh could get them to mek up ah matching bullet proof jock-strap too. Not me and that Lie-Za yuh hear.

And with that ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.