De Budge-it just like cricket

Ah must add-myth that ah will not be able to hold me own when come to matters pertaining to Fine-Ants, Budge-It or D-con-ah-me! Not my girl Lie-Za though, she could run the Ministry-ah-Finance.

So ah got her to give me ah crash course in how the country run-in and how to interpret the languages of Bro Arm-in and de Come-red at Budge-it time. {{more}}

So to meek it simple foh me, she decided to use the game of cricket as ah analogy, or let me use Senator Razum new word as ah parallely. Lie-Za says that the country is caught between two captains, both with completely different approach.

Skipper Arm-in got a very orthodox batting style. Once the atmospheric condition is bad and the pitch playing with an uneven bounce, he gone on the defensive.

If the ball moving around, he meking no risky shots and is prepared to hold his wicket with the hope that playing conditions will improve. But not de Come-red, he is Mr. Unorthodox, he teks one look at the scoreboard and sees zero, zero, zero, listens to the shouts of the crowd, hungry foh runs, and goes on the attack!

Right now de Come-red been batting on ah sticky wicket foh almost ah whole innings. Ball swinging all over the place, but he insist he going at the bowling! And so far, de Come-red was able to Tie-One ah two Umpires on his side, and continues to keep the score-board ticking over.

In addition he has gotten the better of ah few close LBW decisions from other Umpires. On ah number of occasion too, when he looked like he was clearly caught behind or caught in the slips, the umpire refused to budge, and de Come-red will not walk, long ago that was called cheating, but the whole world change and so has cricket, is like cheating is part ah de game today. After that short explanation ah the game, Lie-Za tell me ah ready to Anna-lies the Budge-it.

So armed with me lickle transistor radio, ah listen all day Monday to de Come-red in his Budge-it address. He talk foh four hours and not ah word bout cricket. He talk bout more money pon the poor relief, Christmas bonus foh Public Servants, he increasing the personal tax allowance by ah thousand and he offering small businessmen some tax incentives. He boasted bout the Housing Project which I feel is ah good thing. He didn’t play to brag on the record increase in the number ah Vincy students now attending UWI; the same increase at the Community College and Nurses Training Centre. Student Nurses getting $800 monthly allowances, all courtesy the Guv-ah-mint.

NOTHING BOUT CRICKET

But up to now de Come-red ain’t say nothing ’bout batting, bowling or feeling! Nothing bout the state ah the wicket or the umpire-in. Ah realize that Lie-Za trick me bad. Once or twice ah hear him hinted that he declaring the innings next year, and in the same breath he saying he going back to bat! The only man that talk ah bit ah cricket language was Bro Arm-in when he accused de Come-red of “Padding up” de Budge-it! And as Lie-Za did say, he expressed caution, he warned of pending danger and ah collapse ah D-con-army! Real Author-ducks stuff.

Later ah listened to Jeer-all Thompson, he was so impressive, ah couldn’t believe that is the same Jeer-all who up to ah few weeks ago, was on Radio talking ah set ah foolishness bout the Cross Country Road will benefit fish vendors who go across to Georgetown to sell their fish. He made one ah the better contributions in the House this time around, still no word on cricket!

On the contrary Senator Razum Shallow was at his very worst. No doubt we might have heard the last of Razum, some one else is Cummings to tek his place as Senator and will Say-yes to Central Kingstown Constituency…

On ah more serious Budge-it-tarry note. The presentation is a pre-election bait that is bound to entice. People does decide how they voting based on what the sides have to show foh it. ULP got ah lot to show foh their first innings, good as well as bad; but right now the good far out weighs the bad. If NDP got ears to hear let them hear!

AH DON’T WANT TO BATHE

NAM was back last weekend with one of their more popular plays “Ah Don’t Want To Bathe”. The Play is about the APPALING conditions at the Mental Health Centre. In one scene ah big fight broke out over ah bed. Blazer will be saddened to hear that at the Centre today, eighty men line up every night to sleep on thirty-six beds. And at meals time, not enough utensils, men line up waiting till the someone finish to go wash ah plate to use it. But it was good to see the ole bulls from NAM back on stage. Nigel Weekes who played Fitz the character who went crazy after he got butt, was right on. Somebody was saying that was ah natural foh Nigel! Darkie was back in his ole role as Millionaire, so too was Nzimbu. So good to see Blazer’s daughter Nandy finally onstage playing Nurse. Anitha, Glenford, Tooks and newcomers Sharon Garraway and Charlo all did justice to the production. Seeing that play reminds me that Blazer is undoubtedly this country’s best and most prolific play-writer.

Well, before the play, ah was helping at the St Mary’s PTA Bar B-Q, pork and chicken. When ah got home ah was smelling ah Bar B-Q all over. Ah couldn’t go near cold water to Bathe either, so ah splash ah lickle Ole Spice on me skin and haul on me clothes. Who should come and sit next to me at the show but Fitz and June Huggins. Yoh done know how woman got smellers like ah cat; ah notice June pushing up she nose, and then she ask me if ah been eating Bar-B-Q. Ah tell she no, ah was not eating, I am ah Bar-B-Q.

So ah explained to her that after ah got home ah was late and when ah haul on me clothes. The wife ask me if ah not Bathing, ah tell she no, ah don’t care how ah smell, ah not bathing and let’s not fight: “Ah Don’t Want To Bathe”!

Don’t forget that Nine Mornings start this Thursday, be ah part ah the Festival!

And with that ah gone again.

One Love Bassy.