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Far-dahs-Dey

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Mother’s Day is ah big thing, and in my Church we honour the Mothers on that day. When yuh think of the many great Mothers, some who are left to perform the role ah the Fathers, they more than deserve the special occasion. There is usually ah concert in the after-noon when the kids pay kind tributes to Mom in poetry, song, dance and skit; then ah presentation of gifts or flowers and then they are served refreshments. And every year the few of us fathers in the Church would complain and question why Fathers can’t get ah similar treatment on Fathers Day. {{more}}
Now when yuh seriously consider the set ah delinquent Fathers among us, to ask fuh ah Fathers Day Concert way the children must say nice things bout dad, is ah tall order. In my community some kids get to see dad once ah week when he come on his once ah week mission, and they have to set up late or get up early before he leaves in order to see him. Some kids get to see dad once ah month, that’s when they go fuh the allowance, but that scene is always ah bitter one because Mammy had to resort to the Family Court to get him to pay the minimum child allowance. And then there are those kids who never see nor hear bout dad and they dare not mention that name round Mammy! Too many of our kids are growing up in ah insecure, lonely and abandoned environment, which is probably one of the reasons why so many ah them resorting to so much violence.
But in spite of all ah that, the Major’s wife (the Pastor)decided she will put on ah lickle concert fuh us Fathers. She soon found out that she was trying to bite off more than she could chew. Her first problems was to find children who really have Fathers. Having found ah few kids who know their dads, the next problem is, would these lickle ones be comfortable going on stage, to recite and sing songs in praise of dad like they normally do fuh Mammy.
Lie-Za always pushing her lickle son Lie-sell in these sort ah things, once it’s to perform on ah stage, she wants him to become an actor. But Lie-Za can’t erase the hurt she felt when she told Lie-Owe that she was pregnant, he never accepted Lie-sell, she was suppose to be on the Pill and he declared that he had used ” ah Con-dem” he says. Maybe one ah the reason why she pushes Lie-sell in the public eye is to taunt Lie-Owe. If yuh want to get Lie-Za mad, is to tell her Lie-sell tek every thing fuh his father. She would correct yuh and tell yuh Lie-Owe is not ah Father but ah Far-dah!
So Lie-Za sent Lie-sall to get one ah the recitations fuh the Father’s Day Concert; but the one he got says: “My Dad is the best daddy in the world. He is kind, gentle and loving and gives me all that my mommy and I ask for. When I grow up, I want to be just like my dad!” When Lie-Za read the lickle poem, she hit the ceiling! She tore the script up in ah hundred and one pieces and when Lie-sell started to cry, she realized that she had over reacted. So she quickly calmed down and gave Lie-sell ah hug and then she explained that it was ah nice lickle poem; but nothing in that poem belongs to his dad: ” yuh far-dah is ah darg, yuh hear me!” she said. Poor Lie-sell in spite ah the bad situation, he love his dad, with tears in his eyes he said to his mom: ” Mammy, my daddy not ah darg, cause all darg got four feet, and my daddy got two feet.” That sent her to the mental, ” yes!” She exclaimed, ” yuh ungrateful wretch, ah know yuh will back chat me and give me wud fuh yuh wut-less dardy, yuh don’t have to tell me all darg got four feet, but yuh dardy only got two foot because he is ah two footed darg!”
Well this Sunday is Fathers Day and the concert is on minus Lie-sell, we might just hear his poem by someone else whose Father fits the description of the verse, and no doubt that Father will be proud. But yuh never know, there might be Fathers dey who are as delinquent as Lie-Owe, and maybe those lines could mek ah difference in they life. One thing fuh sure Lie-Owe himself will not be there, as Lie-Za say he is just another one ah them Far-dah Dey!

ARM-IN EAT De COME-RED SALT FISH
Ah weary wait Sunday fuh de Come-red To Come by me. The news say he was To Come thru East Kingstown on Sunday; so after church ah run home early, clean out me Ice box and full it ah Mob-he drinks, he always have ah big crowd Mob-in him, so ah put plenty Hi-roun Mob-he in the box to cool. Every vehicle turn by me gap ah say to me-self “de Come-red reach!” And wasn’t me alone who prepared fuh him, me Near-bar Moreen, Rock-of-wages fiancé had her Bar stocked waiting. But ah had food; ah lickle birdy tell me de Come-red love plenty Salt-fish, don’t expect him to eat much she say, he can’t; the big belly is not say-nyam-yuh-must with that appetite. Julie-Ann is the real Salt-fish eater, he love the local salt fish, could be red-fish, white-fish don’t talk bout Black-fish, just rest it dey fuh Joe-lay-on! About two o-clock ah hear his voice right above me, and he went on and on, then like ah hear singing and ah recognize Pastor D’s vice, is then ah realized that was me Near-bar Moreen’s TV playing the Streams of Power service, and de Come-red was delivering the Salmon. Ah also realize that was no way de Come-red Coming, but he mek me prepare me food and full up me Ice Box fuh nothing, ah should ah expect that because people close to him hinted that is long time de Come-red not able To Come”!
When next he call me, ah will tell him the representer Arm-In came, he drink all the Mob-He, and guess what? Arm-In eat all de Come-red Salt-Fish too! DAH GO BUN HIM!
And with that ah gone again.
One Love Bassy

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