Moving on again after sexual assault a decade ago

Hi Rosie ,

I am a survivor of a sexual assault, it was over 10 years ago. After much therapy, support from a small circle of friends and family along with prayers, I am finally feeling like myself again. I am back in school and pursuing a degree in counselling, where I specialise in domestic violence.

Rosie the problem is that I’ve never shared this with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for about 8 months and I never told him. We are both 28 years old and have a few friends in common. So now that things are getting a bit more serious I feel the need to tell him before someone else does . I’m afraid that he may think that I betrayed him by not telling him, but I was just not ready to do that. I really like him, he’s kind, gentle ,funny and loyal . How can I make him understand what I’ve been through?

Secret

Dear Secret,

First off let me tell you how proud I am of you! To have experienced such a horrific episode in your life and turn this negative in your life into something positive is so very commendable. You ARE a SURVIVOR!

Please don’t do this to yourself, you had to overcome many obstacles for the last 10 years in order to come this far. So it makes complete sense that you would not tell everyone around you about your past. It would take you quite a bit of time to trust someone with this very private and hurtful piece of your past .

It would seem that you’ve found a young man who is worth your trust. I think he’ll understand, you said he has compassionate qualities so go
forward in faith. You are entering a new phase in your life and I think as you slowly reveal your heart, good things will come your way. Good luck!

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown, St Vincent & the Grenadines