My friend is always fussing and complaining about her life, so I tune her out…

Hi Rosie,

I have a very close friend for 20+ years. We are really close, and we have been there for each other for many good and bad life events. What I can’t deal with is how much she complains and fusses about her life on a daily basis. I don’t think she realises, so I tune her out most of the time. The other day she caught me and asked me if I was listening to her. I told her it’s the same old thing from her. She got mad with me and said I was a flaky friend.

Rosie, should I apologise to her? Or just tell her how I feel? I love her, but she gets on my nerves sometimes.
Tired

Dear Tired,

I totally get what you are saying. We all have those one or two friends who do not realise how much they make it all about them.

Of course you love your friend, but you want to address this issue. I think you may have to approach her from a place of love and explain to her how you feel about the way she goes on and on about her life. Explain that you are here for her, but you’d like to spend the time a little differently, sharing other ideas, experiences and possibly doing other activities together.

She may be slightly surprised or a little put off by what you are saying, but reassure her that this was not intended to hurt her feelings, but enhance your friendship. I believe that you can both get over this hump.
Good luck!
Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines