I am scared of my husband

Hey Rosie,

I am married and I am the mother of a six-year-old daughter. My husband and I have been married for seven years and we live in Canada. This is my second marriage and we were happy until now. Rosie, I don’t want to say he has changed, but it may seem so… or just maybe I am seeing his true colours. He  has become abusive and unattached from me… he insults me every chance he get, in front of the children (I have two more from my first husband, a boy who is 15 and an 11-year-old daughter).

My husband plays mind games with the children and tells them that they don’t have to listen to me because I am nothing, Rosie.  So they in turn are very disrespectful and that hurts so much to see him doing this. If he continues what kind lessons are they learning? I’m scared, Rosie! I thought of leaving, but I am scared to break up my family again.  My oldest son is not happy with the way I’m being treated and my daughters are very rude and disrespectful  to me. I am so afraid of my husband, because he is so angry lately and I don’t know what to do!

Scared
Dear Scared,

 Do not be afraid, you have taken your first step and that is to acknowledge that you are in a very toxic relationship.

Time and time again I talk about what we should never accept… and that is being abused.  Be it verbally/mentally or physically.  There is NO place in your life for this mess!

 You are the mother of three children who are looking at your every move to see how you are going to handle this very ugly situation.  Frankly, I am not truly interested in when and what has caused him to become this very loathsome person, I am interested in finding out what your game plan is going to be.

 Staying and letting him be-little you in front of the children, chip away at your authority and ultimately making you feel like a second class citizen is not acceptable.  There are times that I say, talk to the person, go to counseling, reach out etc.  But when the lives of your children are being changed day by day, respect is out the door and you are afraid, it is time to LEAVE!

 Confide in a trusted family member, seek legal advice, have a financial game plan and also start rebuilding your self esteem.  Self esteem is one thing NO ONE can take from you.  Start by showing your children that this is NOT a healthy example of a relationship and you will also not be tolerating their attitudes as well.  Maybe you have a positive male relative who can step in to show your son how a true man handles his business? He can lead by example, showing him how a real man respects his family in public and also behind closed doors.  Reach out to those in your trusted circle and let them know you need their help.  I am sure there will be many hands reaching back.  Be safe. 

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the
Grenadines