Hey Rosie,

I think I really messed up.  I was married to my husband for 7 years and during that time he was unfaithful, lazy and even had another child . Rosie, I was devastated! We had a son during this time too and he was too lazy to do anything with him. But my husband always wanted it to look perfect to the outsiders. So I tried, we even went to counseling and he would say the right things to them too, but never followed through at home. Then I had it, Rosie, I divorced him and moved on.  

Do you know we reconnected four years later and tried to make it work?  He seemed like he had matured and it seemed great, but that little voice kept saying “be careful”.  We got married 18 months ago and just had another son, who is now 8 months.  He’s doing it all over again.  Why am I doing this to myself?  Simple question: do you blame me if I leave again, but for good?  He is not doing right by us.

I am out.

Dear I am out,

Wow!  Girl, I think you just said a major mouthful right there.  I am feeling your frustration from all that you’ve been through!  I don’t blame you for how you feel at all.

Can I simply say that going forward from here on always listen to that “voice”?  It will never steer you incorrectly.  He was only putting on an act and he was not deserving of you once again.  I think what got me was the fact that he’d pretend for the therapist as well. But any good therapist would have seen this and called him out on this behaviour.

Pick up the pieces, you are a smart lady, you will do fine by yourself.  Give yourself also enough time to heal emotionally and maybe seek someone to talk too.  I wish you and the boys the best.

Rosie

Send questions to Rosie at: heyrosie24@yahoo.com or PO Box 152, Kingstown,St Vincent & the Grenadines