Hey Rosie!
August 12, 2016

My friend told her man what I said and I am so upset!

Hey Rosie,

My hubby and I are friends with one of his schoolmates and his girlfriend. We occasionally see them and we got along decently enough. One day the girlfriend confided in me about some issues that they were going through. I gave my opinion and she went right back to her man and told him what I said! Her man was upset and told my hubby that he needed to put me in my place! Well, Rosie, I was so mad that I wanted to curse him out.{{more}}

Thankfully, my hubby handled it and told him never to disrespect me again. The thing is I’m still so mad and the girlfriend is trying to reach out to me and I am not interested in dealing with her. Should I give her an opportunity to say her piece? I’m still so mad!

Angry

Dear Angry,

I can understand your frustration. I truly can, but there is a HUGE lesson here…

For me, even though she came to you and unloaded to you and asked your opinion, I would have just listened and said nothing too deep. Granted, I have no idea what was the advice you gave. I would have still just avoided going too deep.

There is always the danger of “pillow talk ” when a couple stops fighting. Then, all of a sudden they start sharing secrets and then you become an enemy.

Make it worse, she wasn’t even a close friend to begin with, it seems. You can give her an opportunity to explain why she threw you under the bus like that, but I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t speak to her either. Also, I’m very proud how your husband handled his friend as well. That was a united front.

In the future, stay far from couples and their drama, no matter how well-intentioned your approach is.

Rosie

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